In Loss and Love
by tattooedgeek85
Summary: Neal is gone & Emma is left with only memories of him & their son. She packs up her son & moves to the quaint ocean side town of Storybrooke to start over. She opens a photography studio and is soon the go-to person for photography when out of the blue a charismatic young sailor shows up in town. Will she be able to learn to love again or will her past threaten her future?
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this story, those belong to the writers of Once Upon A Time.**

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Chapter One

Emma felt the waves of panic take over her body. Shaking hands made it impossible to buckle the car seat into her buttercup colored Bug. She knew fair and well that car seats shouldn't be placed in the front seat but Neal had their car and he was missing right now. She bit back the tears that threatened to fall, hoping that Henry would stay asleep for the duration of their ride. She knew she couldn't handle a crying newborn and the fear she felt turning her stomach at the same time.

She finished buckling her sleeping son in and walked around front of her car. She stood there, in the snow gripping her stomach as her knees buckled slightly under the weight of her worry. Her skin felt like it was too tight, her lungs felt deprived of air, gasping for breath she ripped at her chest, hoping, praying, that if she dug in hard enough she could reach her lungs and restore the breath she desperately missed. Her skin crawled, she alternated between ripping at her chest and rubbing her skin, all the while tears cascaded down her cheeks. Emma placed her palms against the hood of the car feeling the cold steel beneath them, bending over breathless, she slowly began regaining her wits when she looked at the tiny bundle in the passenger seat. Her icy fingers grazed the incision on her stomach, finding the warmth she hadn't realize they were missing. She took a deep breath, tasting the chilled air and somehow found the strength to finish the walk to her side of the car.

She stopped short of opening the car door and took in the beauty around her. It was much to warm for the snow to stick to the ground, instead it fell in large flakes, clinging to tree branches and if the pit in her stomach wasn't in its present location she could easily see herself sitting in the front window of the house she shared with Neal, oversized wool cardigan wrapped around her as she clung to a mug of hot chocolate with cinnamon getting easily distracted by another one of her smut novels. She could smell the sweetness of the chocolate, see the flicker of the incandescent lights completing their dance of bronze throughout the room, she could taste cool creaminess of the whipped cream and hear the crackle of branches under the weight of the wet snow. Neal would of course be taking care of Henry, he was so good with him. Neal could always get Henry to stop crying, it was his superpower. Together she knew they would make great parents, if she could find him.

For a moment Emma got lost in her thoughts and forgot about the black hole forming in the center of her being. She felt as though the hole would absorb her. With that she opened the door and slid into the driver's seat, gently double checking the seat belt that held her tiny human in his seat before starting the car.

–

She drove down the winding path with uneasy caution, passing snow covered pine trees on her way to the convent. Once she reached town, it seemed like every building held a memory. She careened to a stop at the street light and found her reminiscing of their youth, how she met Neal in the alleyway behind the now updated apartment building as she made an escape from bad date. She told him she was going to the bathroom and but suddenly stopped at the doorway. She looked into the bedroom of her date, his name escaping her right now, and she had two thoughts. One she could use the restroom to gather her bearings, splash some cold water on her face from the white pedestal sink, surround by antique white tile, yellowed with age. She could look into the mirror of the generic metal medicine cabinet and receive the pep talk she needed and return to her date. She could have laughed at his inappropriate jokes and leave when the time was right. Option two, she could take her heels off and stride across the oak plank floor to the window. She knew the window wasn't painted shut as the summer breeze came through the window causing the pale blue curtains to open under the wind, as if the curtains were hugging the gusts like a long lost friend. It took only a minute for Emma to make her decision that night. She removed her hairband from her dainty wrist and tied her hair up into a messy bun. She removed her teal stilettos from her feet, instantly feeling the relief that came with taking them off and held them in her hand, and within moments she was scurrying down the fire escape, her date none the wiser. The door to the simple sedan beneath the escape had been left unlock and Emma couldn't help but think that people made it too easy. Emma slid into the drivers seat, feeling the cool leather against her bare skin. The plastic of the steering column lifted with ease and she reached for the wiring harness ready to get to work hot wiring this car.

"You could have asked for the key," Neal said, startling her.

Emma jumped, she didn't even notice the attractive brown eyed man in the backseat. His Boston accent was thick and Emma found herself at a loss for words.

Neal waved the long flat head screw driver in front of her face, sliding into the passenger seat with ease. "So," Neal chirped, "what are the chances of us both trying to steal the same car?"

"About a bazillion to one I'd assume," Emma retorted bitingly. The sharpness at which the words left her mouth even annoyed Emma. She didn't want to steal the car exactly, she just wanted to get away from...

"Glenn!" Emma said out loud, remembering the name of failed date that led to her meeting Neal. The light remained red and Emma found herself listlessly falling back into the memory.

She recalled driving the 20 minutes in silence, neither of them willing to succumb to the quiet. It was nice, Emma thought, silence was a commodity when you were in foster care. Many of the homes she stayed in had ten or more children in it, most of them newborns and most of them had been born addicted to one drug or another. Quiet was not something that came easy then and as a result she enjoyed silence.

Neal was the first to break the peace by introducing himself.

"Neal, Neal Cassidy," he said extending his hand.

"Emma Swan," she responded, removing her hand from the steering wheel only briefly to shake his.

"Must of been a pretty awful guy if he has a broad like you sneaking out of the apartment and stealing cars," Neal said coyly.

Emma pulled into the parking lot over looking the ocean. She heard Neal she just chose to ignore him at that very moment. She reminisced about how they talked all night, toes buried in the sand as they watched the sun rise. She remembered the comfortable silence as they returned the sedan to the alley, full tank of gas and any evidence of what they had done and where they had gone had been cleaned away or fixed. She never intended to steal the car, at that moment in time she wanted to feel alive.

–

Emma found herself stroking the keychain Neal had gotten for her when the light turned green, snapping her back to reality with such force she felt winded. She moved her hand from the keychain to the scar that transversed her stomach just above her pelvis and traced the raised incision line in soft even motions.

She was never a bad kid per se, she just had it much more rough than most. While most parents kissed their kids good night Emma bounced around from foster home to foster home never staying at one place long enough to remember her parents names. Most of the time she was removed from the home because the authorities thought she was being abused. In some instances she was, like the time her foster father broke her hand for taking the remote from him or the time she had her shoulder dislocated by an older boy who threw her against the wall for being in his way. Other times the bruises and cuts the doctors found came from Emma playing too rough during flag football or falling off her bike. Either way the authorities never took chances and as a result Emma never put down roots. When she was 18 she packed her bags, took what money she had saved up and she left for Boston, never looking back.

She was proud of the progress she had made in the following 4 years, finding Neal, having Henry, she even took the first steps to finding her biological parents. She and Neal were making a life and a home together and she was beaming at how strong she had become and how she finally let someone in. The chasm in her stomach began to open again as her thoughts slid back to Neal.

Emma drove for the next ten minutes before stopping at the intersection. She looked to her left and looked to her right, and that's when she realized that the restaurant to her right was French's. She was jarred back into another memory of her and Neal, reliving the first time he told her that he loved her.

–

The day of Emma had spent all day at the jail, helping the sheriff with a couple of outlaws she had brought in. The life of a bounty hunter was exhausting and she wanted nothing more than to go home and take a bubble bath. She thought back to that day, easily recalling the feeling she felt when she saw the small gift bag laying on the bathroom floor. She opened the bag and pulled out a yellow dress that was anything but her style and a red leather coat that would soon become a staple in her wardrobe. Inside the bag was a note from Neal none the less. She recalled sitting on the lid to the toilet and reading the note out loud.

 _Em,_

 _I know its been a rough week and you would_

 _prefer to stay home and eat ice cream on the_

 _couch, but I figured you could slide into this_

 _dress and meet me for dinner. 8PM – French's_

 _Yours,_

 _Neal_

 _P.S. Don't forget to shower, you stink!_

Emma giggled as she read the note, heading Neal's advise for the shower. She turned and locked the bathroom door, a habit she was never quite able to break from her time spent in foster care, and turned back to face the mirror. She examined herself in the mirror, wondering what she had done to deserve a guy like Neal. She watched herself as she undressed in the lavender and black bathroom. First her jeans, then her panties. Emma stood, shoulders squared to mirror as she lifted her tee shirt above her head, flinging the shirt toward the door. She made quick work of unsnapping her bra, completing the action in one sift movement. She dropped her arms in front of her, allowing her undergarment to land at her feet. She stood there, naked and as she normally did, she examined herself for flaws. She sighed at the mirror and started the shower, adjusting the metal hanger that always slid off the rod as she stepped in. Emma always let the water hit her hands before allowing it to engulf her. Hands firmly behind her back, palms facing up, once the rest of her body adjusted to the heat she took a step back, dropping her hands. The water felt hot against her back, melting her tense muscles as she moaned softly at their release. She reached for her neck, rubbing in small circles until the muscle there gave way to her efforts. Her hair fully wet she reached for her shampoo, the smell of apple filling the room as it mixed with the steam to be carried off to the corners of the cramped bathroom. Before long her conditioner was in her hair and she reached for the coral colored loofa that hung precariously on a single suction cup attached to the peach porcelain shower wall. She placed a dime sized amount of her apple body wash on the sponge and worked it into a lather. She started at her neck, allowing the warm suds to slither down her breast, her nipples reacted to the sensation almost instantly and she cooed at response her body provided. She decided that she would forgo any further temptation and finished her shower, rinsing her conditioner from her hair quickly. She twisted the dial to turn the stream of heat off and grabbed her towel. The hair follicles on her legs stung at the absence of the water, notifying her that her shower may have been too hot, an idea she quickly brushed off knowing fair well there was no such thing as too hot when it came to a shower.

Knowing her hair would turn into loose waves if she let it dry on it's own that's what she did, instead taking the time to put on make-up. She started with a primer, followed by a smoky eye, eyebrow filler, eyeliner, two coats of mascara (waterproof to be safe), foundation, blush, highlighter and ending with the pièce de résistance her red lipstick. Emma examined herself in the mirror, thankful that the dress Neal had purchased could be worn without the assistance of a bra and she wouldn't have to be completely uncomfortable at dinner. She grabbed her lipstick from the sink and slid into her nude heels before shrugging on the red leather jacket. As she left the tiny apartment she grabbed her purse and her keys, tossing her lipstick into the former before exiting the building, double checking the lock for good measure.

She walked down the block to the quaint french restaurant that sat on the corner. Ivy covered a majority of the facade leaving only one red awning standing alone in a field of green. Black bistro tables lined either side of the path leading up to the door. Emma felt the smooth brass under her hand as she pulled the door open, the smell of garlic and fresh baked baguettes overwhelmed her nostrils. Emma closed her eyes, inhaling the intoxicating aroma. She was taken aback when two strong arms wrapped around her waist pulling her close to his muscular frame.

Neal pressed his forehead to her temple, allowing his lips to brush over her ear as he whispered "I knew that dress would look stunning on you," sheepishly into her ear.

Emma twirled in his arms, kissing him quickly on the lips before Neal stopped her to tell the waitress he had a reservation. A few moments passed and they were seated, fresh baked bread laid piled in the basket on the table.

"May I start you off with something to drink?" The waitress asked with a smile.

"A bottle of red wine." Neal said unflinchingly.

Neal couldn't keep his secret any longer. He had planned today out to be special, but now, seeing Emma before him, he couldn't wait. Neal produced a small black velvet box from his pocket. They had been dating for nearly three years but the vision of the box had sent Emma into fight or flight mode as she looked anxiously for a fire escape.

Opening the box Neal looked deeply into Emma's green eyes and the words he produced immediately put Emma at ease. "Move in with me?"

Emma's smile reached her eyes as she looked down and saw nothing more than a house key in the box. Sure they had been together for awhile but Emma had her reservations. She didn't know if she wanted to married ever, let alone now. Grateful there wasn't a ring in the box Emma removed the key from box and placed it, along with the swan keychain on her keys.

Emma stood up placing her hands on the table, leaning over so that she could reach Neal. She left one hand on the table and placed another behind his neck, easily twisting her fingers into his coarse brown hair as her lips found their way to his. Suddenly Emma wasn't hungry for dinner.

Emma leaned closer to Neal, peppering the side of his face with kisses until she reached his ear. After playfully nipping at the lobe she whispered breathlessly, "How about we skip dinner and go home for dessert."

Neal grabbed Emma's hand, pulling her to the door. Emma giggled at how carefree she felt. He apologized to the waitress for their sudden departure, leaving her a couple dollars on the table for her trouble. As soon as they were out of the crowded establishment Neal picked Emma up in his arms, kissing her as deeply as he could breaking the kiss only to tell Emma how much he loved her, before placing her on the seat of his motorcycle and driving in the direction of home.

Looking back Emma was almost positive that Henry was conceived that night.

–

Brought back to the present by the incessant honking of the vehicle behind her, Emma checked each direction one more time before making a left hand turn at French's and driving to just before the outskirts of town.

The convent wasn't far away now. Just one more intersection and she would be there. She rubbed the cut across her abdomen as she slowed for another red light. Karma wasn't really on her side tonight. Usually she never had to wait for red lights going this way. She knew, through years of perfecting technique, that if she drove 37 miles per hour down this particular road that she would not get stopped by the red lights. Fate apparently had other plans tonight. Outside the car she heard the bell of a shop door closing. Looking to her left she saw August leaving the quaint antique store that he ran with his father.

–

Emma remembered the day like it was yesterday, two months to the day after she moved in with Neal, he told her about the wonderful little antique store he found just on the outskirts of town. She specifically remembered him telling her that if she'd blink she'd miss it. They decided to make a special trip to the antique store, perhaps Emma could find a new book or a bedside lamp as her lamp was suddenly inoperable. They walked down the worn carpet covered stairs leading from their cozy little one bedroom apartment to the exit, passing the faded green floral wallpaper and exit sign that was always apparently broken as it was never illuminated. Neal held the heavy oaken door open for her as she braced herself for the cold that was January in Boston. The car ride to the antique store was quiet. Both of them opting for the silence that came so easily for them. Within minutes they found themselves in the tiny five car parking lot outside of Booth Antiques. Emma recalled the moldy smell of books, covered in age, the way that the dust caught the light from the plate glass window. Emma found herself instinctively going over to peruse the books, looking for an old copy of _Alice in Wonderland_. As a child Emma had always found herself drawn to the story of the blonde outsider who one day finds herself in a mysterious and magical place. She often pictured herself as Alice, escaping even if only temporarily from her less than magical life. Her eyes widened as she found the blue hard cover book with green writing down the spine. The inside cover had charming illustrations of some of her favorite scenes in dark green ink, the paper itself yellowed with age and wear. Emma proudly pulled her find off the shelf and went to locate Neal.

"Em, could you come here?" Neal called, his voice echoing in the small shop.

The walls were covered in dark wood paneling, numerous chandeliers hung from the ceiling, illuminating the quaint antique store. Emma looked at each one as she approached the glass display cabinet decorated with brass filigree.

"What do you think babe?" Neal asked pointing to the small antique ring.

The mine cut diamonds didn't glitter like modern cuts, but Emma found herself breathless none the less. Her eyes softened with affection as she looked at the man who wanted to be her husband.

"Neal," Emma said in almost whisper.

"You don't have to propose to me just because I'm pregnant," her eyes and smile widening saying the words out loud. She was certain that he already knew, her penchant for rocky road ice cream as of late and her desire for nothing more than grilled cheese and onion rings to eat for every meal was a dead give-away. Besides it had been two months without her complaining about the cramps that Aunt Flow brought with her. He had to know, she was certain of it.

"I'm..." Neal struggled to find the words, his eyes growing wide with excitement and fear, "I'm gonna be a dad?"

Emma could only nod, her eyes welling with tears that threatened the breach the dam if she wasn't careful pregnancy hormones be damed.

"I'm gonna be a dad!" Neal screamed, scooping Emma into his arms and spinning her around the shop. Neal dropped to his knees and kissed her belly.

"Hey Slugger, I'm your daddy," Neal said into her still flat stomach rubbing small circles with his thumbs as he rested his hands on either side of her belly.

"She'll take the book, we'll be back for the ring. We have some baby supplies to buy," Neal told the clerk, his smile reaching his eyes.

–

Emma couldn't remember a happier time. She found herself thumbing the same small circles against the edges of her scar as the light turned green. The convent was the next block over. She looked over to the passenger seat where her angel slept, softly cooing to himself. Tears welled up in Emma's eyes as she thought about how lucky she was to have two amazing men in her life. Henry and Neal had easily became her world, which is what made the task she was to perform next even harder.

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Thanks for reading I hope you enjoy it! This is going to take awhile but hopefully you guys like it. Any reviews and criticism would be greatly appreciated! -L


	2. Chapter Two

The rest of the drive to the convent was uneventful and no unwanted happy memories made their way into Emma's subconscious. The road to the convent led just out of town and, the convent itself secluded by pine trees and the small river that ran behind it. Emma could see the orange glow of the porch light to the monastery. Leaving Henry inside the warm car, Emma pounded harshly on the large wooden door, admiring the geometric leaded glass windows and the ornate carving deep in casing around the door. Shifting uneasily from foot to foot, impatiently waiting for someone to answer the door, Emma pulled the lapels of her woolen coat up in a feeble attempt to deter any further snow from finding its way to the exposed skin of her neck. A shiver rippled throughout her tiny frame.

Despite only giving birth two months ago most of the baby weight had already disappeared from Emma's slender physique. Her blonde hair fell in loose waves around her shoulders and any semblance of make up that had been left on her face from the day was now gone, washed away by tears and anguish, mascara streaked down face and she knew instinctively that she looked every bit as disheveled as she felt.

It was only a moment before the small fairy like nun answered the door.

"Mother Superior," Emma said, throwing her arms around her neck.

"Emma, it's so good to see you," Mother Superior responded, pulling back from the embrace to hold Emma's hands.

Emma struggled to find the words and stop the tears that threatened to fall. Mother Superior's face softened as she sensed the internal war waging inside Emma. Emma had always thought that Mother Superior was always much to beautiful to be a nun. She examined the nun through her tears, noticing how her chestnut hair flanked her heart shaped face, and her doe like eyes resembled the color of rust mimicking the warmth that Emma knew was in her heart. Crow's feet tugged at the corners of the young nun's eyes as she smiled, her eye's widening causing her long eye lashes to almost reach her eye brows. It was the same warmth and glow Emma always felt from the slight lady, the tears began to fade from her eyes as she remembered the safety and security she felt with this woman so many years ago.

When Emma was found as a baby the nuns at the convent had taken her in and raised her until she was placed in foster care. The convent was always a place where Emma felt safe, after her numerous run away attempts she always found herself on Mother Superior's door step. Emma secretly promised herself that she would start visiting the convent when times were good and not only when she was desperate and in trouble.

"Mother Superior its been a long time," Emma said sullenly, "I need a favor."

"Anything for you Emma, I'm glad to help," Mother Superior responded lovingly.

"My son...," Emma choked back the tears to carry on, "his father is missing. Can he stay here while I search for him?"

"Of course child. We have an open crib in the nursery. You can get him in the morning," Mother Superior responded, reaching for Emma's hands to provide the human contact she knew Emma needed right now.

"Thank you," Emma replied wiping her tears that evacuated her eyes with gentle touch of her soft hand and with that she turned on her heel and returned to the car to fetch her son.

Emma handed the car seat containing her tiny baby boy to Mother Superior, kissing his head before retreating to the car to continue her search for Neal.

–

Emma left the convent in frenzy, desperate to find the man that she knew in her heart of hearts was her soulmate. Neal wouldn't simply disappear, while she wasn't certain of many things in life, she knew this beyond a shadow of a doubt. Neal loved her and he loved Henry, Emma told her self repeatedly as she drove back into town. Once again Emma sought the calming relief that was her scar, her cold hand placed strategically under her sweater to rest against the warm flesh of the scar where her heart was removed and birthed into being. It wasn't long before Emma saw the single street lamp illuminating the parking lot for the Boston Police Department. It was a building that Emma was far to familiar with as Neal often found himself there after a skirmish at a bar when he had partaken in one too many beverages or cheated the wrong man at a game of cards. Neal wasn't perfect, Emma knew that for certain as well, however Neal was perfect for Emma.

Emma coasted into a parking spot and placed her car in park. She sat in the car as a wave of terror engulfed her body. She had never felt like this before while sitting in the parking lot, truth be told most of the time when she'd arrive she had half the sense to leave Neal here to think about how foolish he had been. This time was different though if Neal was here the police would have called to inform her of his arrival at the Hotel PD as Neal liked to refer to it is. Emma turned the key counter clockwise in the ignition and stepped out of the car. Her gate was defeated, she stood there in the snowy parking lot to remedy the situation because she knew that if she walked in there like a broken puppy Graham would treat her as such. It wasn't the Graham disliked Emma, in fact the opposite was true. Graham cared very deeply for Emma, once going as far as to propose to her. They had been dating for quite some time in Graham's defense, Emma thought, it was just that his love for her was pure, simple and untarnished, while Emma's love for him was pure she aspired for greater things than being the wife of a Boston sheriff could provide. Emma never left Boston, and Graham was still broken that she denied his proposal in pursuits of adventure and yet in Boston she remained, to become the wife to a lying cheat with no prospects of providing Emma with the life she deserved. What Graham did not realize was Neal wasn't a lying cheat of a man, Neal was Emma's greatest adventure. Emma straightened her posture and exuded confidence as she entered the precinct.

Graham raised his head from behind the reception desk as the bell on the door alerted him to the entrance of another. Emma could see the toes of Graham's boots peaking out from below the raised counter of the desk, he had been sleeping Emma assumed.

"Emma what are you doing here?" Graham huskily inquired while trying to conceal the reality that his eyes were still heavy sleep.

"Neal, is here?" Emma asked sheepishly, trying desperately to conceal the anxiety in her voice. She traced the edges of her scar over her shirt, finding warmth and strength in her marking.

"Haven't seen him."

"Graham..." Emma responded, tears now falling from her eyes as the stability she had found just moments ago shattered at the three little words that escaped his lips.

Graham stood up and raced around the desk in just enough time to catch Emma as she doubled over from the weight of her worry. Emma sobbed into Graham's shoulder as he rubbed circles into the space between her shoulders. Graham knew instantly that something was wrong, he had never seen this strong, resilient woman he had grown to love all the years ago break like this. With steady feet Graham stood up, assisting Emma to the chair in reception. Without a word he began to make calls in search of Emma's fiance. He after some time with a cup of coffee and placed it in Emma's hands.

"Emma, I've got every officer out there now looking for Neal. Why don't you go home and get some sleep, you're exhausted I can tell. Someone will give you a call if anything comes up," Graham said soothingly in his English accent but he could still hear Emma's heart breaking as gave her the news.

Emma mustered up every ounce of will to live she had left, stood up and exited the precinct with no more than a bye.

–

Emma sat in her car for some time. Unsure of which direction to go next. She replayed her encounter with Graham over and over in her head. She could clearly see the flecks of amber surrounded by a sea of chocolate that was Graham's eyes. She saw how the corner of his eyes turned down to mimic the motion of his mouth which Emma knew quite well came with sadness. It was the same look he had the night Emma turned down his proposal. His brown beard showed signs of his heritage, ginger hairs mingled with the russet ones and every so often a silver hair would stand alone in the sea of brown reminding Emma that they were in fact, growing older.

Emma shook her head, pulling herself from the exhausting memory. She gingerly traced the scar on her stomach and knew that she'd have to visit the one place she had hoped with all her heart that Neal would not be, the hospital.

Emma's thoughts drifted to Henry's birth as she parked outside the entrance to the emergency room. She remembered the panic on Neal's face he raced her into the great white waiting room, announcing that he needed a doctor because his baby was on the way. Emma remembered the antiseptic smell of the lobby, bleach and hand sanitizer as she recalled. Pregnancy had given her a heightened sense of smell, for which she was not grateful as the overwhelming smell of sterile had made her more sick to stomach than the torturous pain she felt inside her core. It was mere moments, however then it felt like a lifetime waiting to be taken to labor and delivery. She thought about how quickly she had made the decision to not get an epidural, opting instead to feel the pain and give Henry his best shot. She had read one too many horror stories on-line while making her delivery plan, and it was a decision she immediately regretted with her next contraction. Neal stood by her side, being her hand to squeeze when she needed, the soothing voice in her ear reminding her that she was strong, and the shoulder to cry on when she was told they were going to have to perform a c-section. Neal had been the perfect teammate through out the entire birthing process. Emma recalled the chaos that ensued in preparation for her c-section and the rock that Neal was as he stood in the operating room prepared to cut the cord like the proud father he was. Emma could still hear Henry's cries and feel his warm skin against hers. Neal had kissed her forehead as she held this tiny human they created as tears of joy fell down her face. It was the happiest day of her life, this place was the happiest she had been but Neal's departure made this joyful place feel bleak. Emma prepared for the worst as she ambled inside, convinced of the news she was about the receive. Emma trusted only two things about herself, her gut and her super power and right now her gut was telling her something she was not equipped to hear.

–

"Hi, I'm looking for a Neal Cassidy. I'm his wife," Emma's heart shattered at the lie that escaped her lips, knowing fair well that she may never be such. "He's about 6'2" grayish-brown hair, lopsided grin, actually," Emma paused looking through her purse for her phone, determined to show the receptionist a photo of her missing love.

"Here, this is him, right there," Emma announced, holding up her phone displaying a selfie they took on a trip to Coney Island.

"Let me check. If you'd have a seat over there I'd be glad to take this picture to a couple places he might be if he's here. I'll be right back Mrs. Cassidy," the slight, lanky receptionist responded calmly. She turned to the other receptionist, whispering in her ear as she left the desk.

Emma defeatedly drifted to the waiting area, finding solace in her scar. Since Henry's birth Emma had found strength and calm in her wound. It had become her security blanket, a stark reminder of what she had waiting for her, and as of now what she had lost. Her scar was home, and right now she felt the farthest away from that then she had felt in recent months.

In reality it was only minutes but Emma was living in a nightmare and the short amount of time she had waited felt like years. She stared aimlessly as the melted footprints she left on her journey to the waiting area. Small grimy puddles laid strewed across the floor in a pattern resembling the tread on her wet boots. She was awaken from her daze by the strong voice of the doctor she presumed was there to destroy her world.

"Ms. Cassidy I presume," the voice said.

Emma nodded, not raising her head, her eyes fixed solely on the footprints as they disappeared under the effort of a rag mop. She thought that if she raised her head, acknowledged the doctor that her fears would manifest and she was not ready for that.

"Can you come with me?"

Emma stood, head down, eyes fixed. She felt the subtle strength of the doctor's hand against the small of her back, leading her to misery.

The walk down the hallway seemed endless. Emma focused on the beeping of monitors signaling the signs of life still contained with the people connected to them. She thought about the antiseptic smell and the way the florescent lights flickered and danced over head. She thought about anything but the current situation. She wouldn't allow herself to go dark just yet, at least not fully.

It wasn't until the doctor proclaimed that they were there did Emma lift her head. As she did she saw the man she was supposed to marry laying in a bed. Tubes and wires attached to every inch of his being. She watched as the breathing machine's bladder decompressed as Neal's chest rose. She counted his heartbeats to the tone of the monitor.

"Is he..." Emma couldn't bring herself to finish the thought. She raced to Neal's bed side and held his hand in her's. She kissed his forehead, then his knuckles, then his lips as if he was under a sleeping curse and true love's kiss would awaken him.

"Braindead," the doctor replied in a small voice.

Emma couldn't stop the rush of tears. Her nerve ending were raw, every fiber of her being was on fire. Emma gasped for breath between her tears, reaching for her neck. She shook with sadness and pain. It wasn't long before Emma blacked out, clutching her chest in the hope to stop her heart breaking. When she finally came to her senses, Neal's doctor stood beside her, holding an oxygen mask to her face coaching her through her attack and cuing her breaths.

Emma pushed Dr. Whale's hand away from the oxygen mask. She could clearly see his name tag for the first time since retrieved her from the waiting area. Tears ran heavy down Emma's face, her mind raced at the possibilities of what might have happened, what could have caused her love to be in the condition he was now.

"How?" Was all Emma had energy enough to say.

"He came in here, delirious and claiming of a headache. Before we could run the CT scan he fell, and began seizing. It was a giant aneurysm, he was gone before we could help him. Emma, know that there is nothing that could have been done."

Emma stroked Neal's hand and noticed how soft his skin was, she stared at his face, determined to remember every wrinkle and crease through bleary eyes. She didn't want to forget him.

"We were however able to get him on life support before his organs began to fail. We don't mean to sound insensitive but he came in here with no identification, we need to know if he is an organ donor."

"Yes," Emma responded meekly, knowing that her answer would mean he was going to be disassembled like a lego house, brick by brick until there was nothing left, she would be burying a shell of the man she loved.

"You can take all of his organs but not his eyes, I don't want to walk down the street and see his eyes, I'd recognized them anywhere," Emma said huskily through the tears.

"Understood miss. If you could sign these papers we'll be on our way."

Without though Emma signed the papers

X Emma Swan 12/18/15

"I thought you were his wife," Dr. Whale said with confusion.

"Soon to be, I am his only surviving relative besides his son, his will gives me authority to sign as such." Emma responded harshly.

"Understood."

Emma retreated to the chair in the corner of the room and watched in disbelief as the transplant team arrived, she couldn't contain herself any longer and scrambled to his side to kiss him one last time before darting from the hospital as the hole in the center of her being imploded like star going supernova before devouring itself.

–

Emma started the engine of her small bug, left the parking lot and her heart behind her before driving straight out of town in the opposite direction of home. Right now she wanted to be anywhere but Boston, and she wanted to feel anything but how she felt now. She didn't know where she was going, she just knew that she may never go back to the place she fell in love with Neal Cassidy.


	3. Chapter Three

Young Killian Jones sat in the field of grass near the Cliffs of Moher, his sketchpad laid precariously across his lap as his fingers stroked the charcoal pencil they contained lazily. He closed his eyes inhaling the scent of the sea. Salt and wildflower he thought to himself as he basked in the warmth and glow of the midday sun, the pleasant aroma brought forth by the gentle August breeze. He listened to the gulls call in the distance, happy to receive the scraps of bread produced for them from the pockets of his parents.

Killian opened his eyes leaving him momentarily blinded by the brightness of the sun. He blinked a few times, waiting for the readjustment to happen so that he may see again. Once his eyes became acclimated to the light again, young Killian looked out to the sea. In the distance he could see a cruise ship and he watched intently as the waves crashed against the bow, breaking to both sides with a glorious explosion of white caps and sea spray, leaving nothing more than a wake in it's path to show where it had been.

Inspiration flooded Killian's imagination. For a boy of twelve, almost thirteen if you asked hm, Killian was a talented artist. His ability he was sure came from his mother. Killian began to sketch, drawing the body of a large frigate across the page, taking special care in his depiction of the waves crashing and breaking against the bow and hull of the large ship. He constructed the masts, all three with careful precision, draping each in flowing sails full with the strength of the wind. Killian got lost in his imagination, envisioning himself at wheel, in charge of his own ship. He thought about how he would be as a Captain. Captain Killian Jones, he thought. He could smell the starch in his freshly pressed uniform, the deckhands all referring to him in the proper. He could feel the wind and salt on his face, smell the sea and wood of the ship as it creaked through the water, his hands feeling the rough wood of the wheel as is it slid through his hand.

Killian was unaware that his older brother Liam had approached him. Liam was always one for games and seeing his brother sitting in the grass, eyes closed in imagination, he knew he had to take the opportunity that had been presented before him. Killian was none the wiser. Liam placed the football on the ground (it was a soccer ball if his father's term for it was correct, although he didn't quite understand the name as the game is played with one's feet). Liam lined up, kicking the ball just hard enough to hit Killian in the leg with the ball, however after his foot made contact with the black and white ball the wind took to a gust and blew the ball toward Killian's head.

"Killian!" Liam shouted, hoping to warn his brother in time for him to duck.

 _Thud._ The ball made an audible contact with the side of his brother's head. Liam looked on in horror as Killian sprang to his feet and charged at his brother, leaving his sketch pad and pencils strewn across the grass. Killian ran toward Liam as fast as his legs would carry is small frame and before Liam could brace himself for the impact Killian tackled him to the ground.

"Ooaf." Liam exhaled forcefully as his back made contact with the hillside.

Killian and Liam rolled down the hill, a tangle of arms and legs. When they finally came to a stop, draped across the ground the boys erupted into laughter.

"Twit," Killian chastised, "that bloody hurt."

"I apologize dear brother, I only meant to hit you in the side. You looked so peaceful so naturally I had to disturb your restfulness."

The brothers returned to their laughter until they were brought back to the present by the sound of arguing. Killian looked down toward the edge of the cliff, he could clearly see his mother was upset, her small frame filled with Irish rage as her arms flailed in disagreement to whatever was said to her by his father.

"What about our sons? How will they go to school in the hills of Myanmar? We don't even speak Burmese!"

"Siobhan, please. This is a wonderful opportunity to study the Padah-Lin Caves!"

"Don't Siobhan me! I did not say it wasn't a wonderful opportunity love, I simply asked ye to think about yer children! The boys need school, they need their friends, little boys should not grow up isolated in some foreign land studying caves! And don't ye think fer a second that I'll allow ye to leave without us. Boys need their father!"

Killian watched as is father dropped his arms in defeat. It had appeared that his mother had won whatever argument they had been having. She always did, it was her Irish fire, as his dad liked to call it.

"Killian, Liam, come'er," their mother called, her voice catching a ride on the wind.

"Comein' Mum," the boys responded in unison.

–

The Jones family walked closely together down the sidewalk in the small town where they were staying. Shops and pubs lined the streets as if one could not exist without the other. Shop signs swayed to and fro in the wind which was much worse in the tunnel-like environment created by the buildings. Killian watched his mother, her hand placed on the back of her head in the hopes of stopping the wind from blowing her hair in front of her face, an act which failed miserably as her fire red hair danced around her face, twisting and rippling in the gusts. Killian could smell his mother's shampoo, apple and honey carried in the gales, it was his favorite scent in the world. He reached to hold his mother's free hand and he could see her emerald eyes glisten with love through her ruby locks as she smiled at her youngest. She leaned down slightly and kissed the top of Killian's head, breaking the hand hold to wrap her arm around his shoulders, pulling him in close to her side. Killian smiled with contentment. He was certain that he would not be happier in his life than he was right now on the streets of this quaint town with the people he loved best.

"Tag, yer it!" Liam shouted as he tapped Killian on the shoulder.

Killian looked up to his mother for approval. She giggled and gave him a smile and a wink, her signal that it was ok. Killian returned her smile and sped up to catch his fleeing brother. Killian looked behind him briefly and saw his parents laughing in unison as his father held her close, arm wrapped around her waist. Killian hoped one day he could find a love like that his parents shared, he deeply wanted to be in love and have a family, but for now he was content on being a child. When he returned his vision to his brother it was too late for him to slow down. He reached for his brother, unexpectedly pushing him in the process. Liam fell alarmingly on wrist as he tried to brace himself for the fall. Liam let out a scream as he held the injured wrist in his hand.

"Momma, Papa I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt him! I couldn't slow down fast enough. I'm sorry!" Killian cried as his parents approached.

Killian's dad wrapped his son in a hug, holding him closely as his mother examined Liam's wrist.

"I'm afraid it's broken," she said solemnly, "let's get him to the physician."

Her attention returned to nursing her injured son, "It'll be alright, let me help ye up," she cooed, comforting Liam. She wrapped her arm under his good arm and pulled up with all her might, allowing Liam to place his weight on her.

The rest of their night was spent at the doctor's while Liam had his wrist splinted and wrapped.

"Can I sign yer cast?" Killian asked, trying to make light of the situation.

"Sure," Liam responded wistfully. He was obviously still upset by the turn of events that had taken place, his wrist now laid encased in a bright blue plaster bandage that Killian was sure would hurt when his brother would hit him with it, and Killian thought he deserved it.

"You can hit me with it if ye'd like," Killian remarked in the hopes that the tension would break later that night in the bedroom they shared.

Liam reached and turned on the bedside lamp. "Come'er then."

Killian got out of bed and sauntered to where Liam not sat in his bed. He stood in front of his brother like a traitor in front of the firing squad, ready to receive his punishment. Liam reached his casted hand up and slapped Killian who winced in pain. He could feel the warm blood that now ran down his face. He winced as his fingers found the small cut above his eye, surely it would leave a scar but he didn't care, the tension was broken and he had his best friend back. Killian sat down next to Liam, feeling the bed sink under the weight of two teenage bodies.

"I really am sorry Liam," Killian protested, wiping the drying blood from his face.

"I know but..." Liam was cut off by the sounds of his parent's argument. Apparently the conversation at the cliff was not over and by the sound of it they were leaving for Myanmar in a weeks time.

"Where's Myanmar?" Killian asked.

"Not a clue," Liam responded, unsure of his answer.

"Well I guess we'll find out in a week." Killian remarked, returning to his bed.

"I guess yer right," Liam confirmed, reaching for the light.

With that the room plunged into darkness and he fell asleep.

–

The plane ride to Myanmar was uneventful to say the least. The rest of trip consisted of a car ride, followed by a trip by donkey. After some time they finally reached the camp for the archeologist. Killian watched as his mother entered the mouth of the cave, mouth agape in awe as she looked upon the red ochre paintings contained within. She pulled out her recorder and began to speak into it, documenting what was in front of her before continuing down the corridor. Before long Killian lost sight of his mother.

He knew that his father had agreed to this expedition because of her. She was an archeologist in her own right, specializing in art and early human civilizations. His father on the other hand specialized in ancient technology and warfare. Sixteen years ago they met on an expedition in Egypt studying the tombs and when Siobhan became pregnant with Liam she insisted they move to Ireland so she could be close to her family. They both took positions at the university but before long the professor life had grown tedious, this was his father's attempt to break free of the humdrum existence that had been their life. The boys were older now and could hand this sort of adventure.

"Brennan!" Killian heard his mother call from deep within the cave, her discovery must have been exciting for her to call upon his father so soon after entering the cave. Killian sat in the shade, his back pressed firmly against the tree and began to sketch.

–

Months had passed at the camp without incident. Killian's mother was happier than he had seen her in recent years, absorbed by her work and dating the paintings. She hoped fiercely to find more than just broken bits of vases and she dreamed of finding utilitarian items, anything that gave her insight into the lives of the early inhabitants. Killian reveled in his mother's happiness. Even Liam seemed to be enjoying the work he was doing with his father, assisting in the cleaning of artifacts instead of studying history.

The night had been like any other. Dinner, chores, classes, homework, and bed, in that order. It wasn't until it was practically dawn that Killian awoke, his bed drenched in sweat. His throat was sore and swollen, his neck and face covered in a ruby rash. He cried out in discomfort, awaking his brother who noticed Killian's struggle for breath and fetched his parents. They wasted no time in loading Killian onto the mule to bring him down the mountain.

Killian must had passed out on the ride down for when he awoke he was in the backseat of a Jeep, his head in his mother's lap as she wiped a cool rag against his forehead in the hopes of the fever receding.

"Mum..." Killian struggled to produce sound, his voice raw and scratchy.

"Shush son, we'll be to town soon and ye'll be good as new," She chirped, concern obvious in her voice as she attempted to keep the worry at bay.

Killian found solace in her voice and it wasn't long until he was asleep again.

"Brennan, the rash, it's spreading. He needs a doctor quickly," her voice thick with panic

"I'm trying dear, we'll be there soon. They will get his fever to break and the rash will go away. He'll be better before we know it," Brennan cooed, hoping to keep his wife from her apparent break down.

–

Killian awoke for the third time in a hospital bed, beads of sweat decorated his forehead. He would remain in the hospital for almost a month as the doctors fought desperately to save his life. Eventually the scarlet fever in which he contracted had dissipated and new, more terrifying disease took it's place as Killian suffered from rheumatic fever, which from what he understood, happened sometimes as a result of scarlet fever.

Killian watched his parents speaking with the doctors outside his door. Unable to head them he knew instinctively that the news was not good as he watched his mother bury her head into his father's chest and cry.

The results from his EKG must have returned. Based on his mother's reaction either the fever had not damaged his heart, or it did. Killian knew in his gut that the latter was the truth. His dreams of joining the Navy to spend his days upon the sea he so urgently missed now shattered. The Navy would never allow someone in their ranks who had a broken heart. Killian wept for a second, pulling himself together as his family entered the room to give him the news he already knew.

"Killian, love, the fever..." Siobhan could barely speak the words.

"It damaged your heart. For now we'll put you on medication and it'll be fine, but you'll need a heart-transplant, there is just too much damage for us to repair it," his doctor finished the words his mother could not speak.

Brennan gave the doctor a look, and with that he took his leave.

"Son, we're going to send you and Liam to stay with your uncle David and aunt Gracie in Connecticut. It's your best shot of being able to get better. Plus you'll be near the navel hospital should a heart become available," his father spoke somberly. It was clear in his tone that he didn't want to leave his sons, but their work was nearing completion and leaving now would set them back months.

"Papa..." Killian wept, "please."

Brennan hugged his son, kissing the dark brown mass of hair that adorned his head.

Two weeks later Liam and Killian sat in their seats on a plane bound for Connecticut.

* * *

 **A/N: So I should have been a little clearer. This is an alternate universe and Emma is not giving Henry up for adoption right now. She is simply having the nun watch him while she figures stuff out.**

 **Thanks for all the reviews and favorites. I hope you enjoyed this little bit of insight into Killian. The next chapter (maybe two) will be Killian related as well before we return to find out what Emma is doing. -L**


	4. Chapter Four

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, it was either this or a very long chapter. I promise however that the wait for Chapter Five will not be as long, this story is bursting to get out. Thanks for the reviews and comments, they make me very happy so keep them coming! -L**

* * *

Emma drove straight out of town, she knew that she would have to call Mother Superior in the morning and arrange for the nuns to watch Henry for a couple more days while she figured out what she was going to do with her life now that Neal was gone. Every dream that Emma ever had included Neal and her son, what would she do now that she was dreamless? For a fleeting moment she thought about placing Henry up for adoption, the idea however made her stomach turn, Henry was the only connection to Neal that remained and she would be damned if she was going to let a stranger raise her son.

Emma drove for what seemed like hours before the guilt set in. She couldn't leave her only ties to her late fiance alone in the convent. She trusted Mother Superior with all of her heart but she needed her son. She eased off to the side of the dimly lit road letting the one other lone driver on this stretch of highway pass before completing the u-turn and returning in the direction from which she came.

The sun began to peek over the horizon, setting the sky ablaze in a brilliant melange of oranges and pinks. Sleep wore heavy on her eyes as she pulled into the driveway of the house she once shared with Neal. She would return to the convent to retrieve Henry after she slept, knowing fair well that she was in no condition to care for him on the lack of sleep she now possessed. She shuffled her feet across the hardwood floors on her way to the sofa, the mixture of exhaustion and emotion weighing down her limbs, making the act of walking near impossible. She lowered herself on the old, second hand sofa, melting into it's warm embrace. She didn't even get a chance to take off her boots before her hand found its way to her comfort and she fell calmly to sleep.

The day had given way to evening before Emma awoke. Feeling better after a good day's rest she walked to the bathroom in desperate need of a shower to wash away the flood of emotions threatening her well-being. She could swear she heard Neal's laughter while she walked passed the kitchen, the room where they had created so many memories. One thing she knew for certain, she had to leave town, leave everything behind and start fresh.

On the drive home she thought that maybe she could raise Henry in this house, the one his parents carefully picked to be his childhood home, but now she realized this place had ghosts. She felt like a stranger in the dwelling where she once felt safe, looking around every corner in the hopes that the events of last night were a hoax and Neal would saunter in through the front door like a dog with his tail between his legs after a night in the drunk tank. The headache that had rooted itself in her subconscious told her otherwise.

Emma showered as quickly as she could, eager to pack up as many of Henry and her belongings as she could fit in her car and be gone. She would call a real estate agent later to make the arrangements to sell the house but right now she just needed to get out of town, to watch Boston disappear in her rear view mirror and never look back.

She did just that. She packed four large bags, mostly clothing and Henry's essentials such as bottles and diapers. She put his Pack-N-Play in her trunk first, silently thanking her friend Molly for having the foresight to buy her such a multi-use gift. It wasn't ideal but it would work for now as a crib for her son. Packing the other four bags into the small bug was a lot like playing Tetris, removing bags, turning bags, trying different orientations trying to make everything fit into the space provided. She finally fit the two largest bags and the smallest one in the trunk, forced to place her suitcase and Henry's diaper bag in the front seat with her.

It took far less time to reach the convent than it did last night. Perhaps in her frantic state the drive seemed longer but none-the-less Emma was relieved to see the familiar orange glow of the outside light as she approached the quaint brick convent nestled in the trees. The night was silent and she could hear the gentle song of the nearby river as she approached the door. Emma knocked on the large oak door, patiently rocking on her feet while she waited for one of the sisters to answer. When the door opened with a squeak she was grateful to see the loving eyes she had grown fond of in the face of the person standing in the doorway.

Mother Superior smiled at Emma, placing her hand against her elbow to guide her into the dimly lit foyer of the convent. "Come in my child, I'll fetch Henry for you," she greeted affectionately.

Emma smiled, "Thank you Mother Superior."

Emma surveyed the young nun's face as she looked out the door to see her car filled with all the belongings she could fit.

Mother Superior's voice hitched in her throat, "My child are you leaving?"

Emma took a breath, closing her eyes for a second to regain her wits, "Yes Mother Superior, Henry and I are leaving Boston. After last night I don't see how I can stay."

Mother Superior's gaze softened with concern for Emma, "My dear won't you have a seat?" She asked gesturing toward the bench behind her.

Emma obliged, sitting down on the small pine bench next to Mother Superior who had already taken her seat.

Mother Superior reached for Emma's hand, embracing it between hers, "What happened dear?"

Emma looked at her hand and began to fidget with the antique ring that adorned her finger, "Neal went to the hospital complaining of a headache and dizziness. He was gone before they could help him."

The slight nun wrapped Emma in a warm embrace, stroking the back of her long golden locks in a way in which only Mother Superior did, the tears fell without warning and the nun did not stop in her pursuit to comfort her. Her pangs of grief had become to grow shorter and shorter each time she spoke of Neal, this time the tears abated after only a few moments.

Mother Superior's normally formal persona broke, her gaze thick with sorrow for her grieving friend, "Where will you go?"

Emma's demeanor softened, a slight smile forming against her angular face, "Honestly, I don't know. I figured we would drive until somewhere felt like home again and that's where we would stay."

Mother Superior smiled gently, placing her forehead against Emma's. She recited a short prayer for their safety before raising her lips to kiss Emma's head. "I'll fetch Henry."

Mother Superior turned on her heel and headed into the darkness of the convent. She was gone only minutes before she reemerged from within carrying the car-seat containing the only family Emma had left. Emma grabbed the car-seat and gave Mother Superior a hug, thanking her profusely for the care she had shown not only her over the years but also her son. And with that Emma left through the door she entered.

She watched the rearview mirror as the lights of Boston grew dim on the horizon becoming nothing more than specks in the night sky before vanishing all together.


	5. Chapter Five

**Thanks everyone for sticking with me. I know I promised this chapter would be about Killian but then inspiration struck and here we are. Bear with me, Killian will meet Emma in the next couple of chapters. I know it's slow starting but once they are both in Storybrooke you'll be glad to have these few chapters of backstory leading up to that I promise. Keep the likes, favorites and reviews coming. I love all the input! -** L

DISCLAIMER: In case you forgot, still don't own these characters.

* * *

Emma drove absentmindedly, stopping only for gas and hot chocolate until the orange glow of the gaslight illuminated her dashboard once again. Lucky Emma was close to the exit ramp and she easily found a fuel station down the road through the forests of pine trees. She made a mental note that she had passed the city sign even if she couldn't read the name through the darkness. She turned into the lot and parked near pump eight, reminding herself of the number as she carefully removed Henry from his seat and entered the store.

Emma walked over to the coffee bar, baby in her arm, and let out a silent thank you as she saw there was an option for hot chocolate. It wouldn't be the same without her cinnamon but it was better than fighting to keep her eyes open while on the road. She quietly filled her ceramic travel mug, lost in her thoughts, so much so she hadn't even heard the clerk approach.

"Good evening miss!" the bright-eyed girl greeted.

Emma forced a smile, looking at the young girl through red-rimmed eyes.

"Oh my god, is everything ok? Are you ok?!" The young girl Emma now knew was named Ashley from her name tag, asked worriedly, her gaze drifting from Emma to Henry.

Emma couldn't stop the tears from falling. She sobbed, holding onto her mug of hot chocolate and her son until it slipped from her weak grip and broke against the ground. Emma only cried harder, sliding her back down the cabinets until she was seated on the floor holding her knees and cradling Henry against her chest.

Ashley made quick work of the clean-up and came to sit down next to Emma, wrapping her arm around her shoulders giving Emma access to her to cry on. Ashley's fingers stroked Emma's arm soothingly. Any other day and Emma would have fought at the uninvited contact, but given the events of the past few days she welcomed the young woman's warm embrace, the interaction eventually soothing her tears and calming her sensitive nerves.

"Ashley," Emma said her voice husky with sorrow, "Thanks, I've had a very rough couple days and I appreciate nice you've been to me."

Ashley smiled, gladly accepting Emma's appreciation, "My pleasure Miss, might I ask what happened?"

Emma's thumb stroked the underside of her engagement ring and she looked down at the sweet baby in her hands in the hope of halting the wave of tears that threatened to fall. Swallowing hard Emma searched for the words, hoping that saying them out loud would ease her pain.

Ashley's eyes softened, it was as if she could read Emma's mind, "When did it happen?" her voice was small and soothing.

Emma struggled against the mass of her emotions. Every fiber of her being told her to tell her story, to take solace in the kindness of strangers, but her mind told her otherwise, reminding her that strangers should not be trusted. Against her better judgment Emma spoke.

"Last night," the words escaping past her lips in a whisper, "I just got in my car and drove out of town, every corner carried a memory and I just couldn't," her voice broke, tears rolled in soft waves down her cheek.

Ashley, being the kind soul that she was, reached for a napkin and handed it to Emma who used it to wipe the tears away. The napkin was rough against her cheek and she focused on the texture, using her concentration to calm herself.

Another customer entered the store forcing Ashley to leave Emma to her sadness. Emma took a deep breath and mustered up all of her strength and stood, rocking Henry gently in her arms as he began to stir. She walked over to the counter and stood in line behind the gentlemen customer and waited her turn. As the man went to leave he turned around to quickly, bumping into Emma knocking her back.

"Miss I am so sorry!" The man apologized as Henry began to wail.

Emma stroked Henry's chest in her effort to calm the screaming infant, "It's okay..."

"David, David Nolan, I'm the sheriff in this town. Are you hurt? Is he ok?" he asked, his eyes focused on the tiny human Emma held in her arms.

"It's okay Mr. Nolan, I'm fine, really. He's fine too I'm sure, he's probably hungry since we've been driving all night. I'm just a little tired, what town is this anyway?"

"You've arrived in Storybrooke Maine," the sheriff remarked proudly.

"Emma, her name is Emma," Ashley chirped from behind the counter.

David watched Henry as Emma bounced him, his cries finally subsiding as he fell back to sleep. "Welcome to Storybrooke, Emma." A smile spread across his face. "Now as the sheriff, I'm going to have to insist that you leave your car here and let me drive you and your little one to the inn. You look much too tired to drive anymore and it would make me feel better knowing that you two are safe tonight."

Emma shifted uneasily from foot to foot, unsure of how to politely deny his requests. "That's very nice of you but really, all of our stuff is in the car."

David's smile faded into something resembling grief. "Well, I have a truck you can put it in. I really would feel much better if you let me drive you to the inn."

"Do you always care this much about the safety of strangers?" Emma remarked sharply, wincing at the words as they left her mouth.

David's eyes softened, his blue eyes clouded in concern for this woman. "I do, it's my job, plus my wife is always taking in injured animals and I guess some of that care has worn off on me."

Emma watched as his crows feet moved toward his eyebrows, sure he blamed his wife for his caring personality but Emma could always tell when someone was lying and she knew that secretly Mr. Nolan had always been this way, a real Price Charming.

"Ok, Mr. Nolan. Thank you," she responded defeatedly, she knew that he wouldn't take no for an answer.

David turned back toward Ashley, "Thanks for the coffee, the joe at the hospital just isn't as good as the stuff you brew here."

Ashley smiled, she took obvious pride in her coffee making skills, even if she just brewed the bags that came in. "You just get back to the hospital and take care of that wife of your's Mr. Nolan. She's only been away from the school for a day and Gus misses her already. He can't wait for her to be able to have visitors, in fact, you didn't hear this from me, but I think the whole class is planning on visiting her as soon as they can."

Emma watched as David's heart smiled, the sentiment mirrored onto his face.

"She'd love that. And Ms. Boyd, don't worry it'll be our secret." David turned around once again, this time, more careful so he didn't bump into Emma. "I'll pull my truck up next to your," David looked out the window "your Bug, meet me out there when you're done."

"Aye, Aye Captain."

Emma watched as David left the store, chimes ringing as the door came to a close.

"How much for the coffee I dropped?" Emma asked.

"Don't worry about it, in fact," Ashley paused as she grabbed a new travel mug off of the coffee bar, "Here, to replace the one that broke. I know it's plastic but it'll do until you get to where you're going."

Emma smiled thankfully, "Really you don't have to do that. I'd be more than happy to buy the mug myself."

"Nonsense. You've had a rough night, just pay it forward sometime." Ashley said with a wide grin across her face as she left to finish more of her side work.

"Thanks again," Emma said but Ashley was too busy singing while she mopped to hear her.

The door chimed as Emma exited, Henry in one hand and her new travel mug in the other. When she stepped outside she noticed that David already had her belongings in the bed of his truck. She would really need to be more careful and remember to lock her car next time, luckily her inner skeptic trusted David wholeheartedly. She walked over to David who was struggling to put Henry's car seat in the middle of his bench seat.

"Mr. Nolan, I can do that."

"I have it don't worry, if only I could get the seatbelt to..." _click._

Emma smiled as she placed Henry back into his car seat and belted him in place before putting her new travel mug in the cup holder despite its being empty.

"Thanks again," she said softly, careful not to wake her sleeping, perfect angel.

"Don't mention it, why don't you pull your car into that spot there and make sure you lock the doors this time," David responded, a crooked grin spreading across his face.

Emma returned his smile as she returned to her car to pull it into a parking spot Mr. Nolan suggested. She slid into her little buttercup colored Bug and sat in the driver's seat for a moment. She couldn't help but wonder why Mr. Nolan's wife was in the hospital, after the consideration he had shown her she hoped the woman would be okay. She had been through quite the ordeal recently and she wouldn't wish that on her worst enemy and she certainly wouldn't wish it upon someone who had shown her such kindness.

Emma was pulled from her thoughts by the low honk of David's horn. He had pulled up behind her, patiently waiting for her to get in the truck. She felt awful for getting lost in her thoughts and making him wait to return to the hospital and taking up his precious time.

Emma settled herself into the passenger seat, shifting back and forth until she could find a comfortable position to sit in. Nervously Emma stroked her scar over her sweater, the tension in the cab of the small brown Ford was thick enough to cut with a knife. Emma's throat dried quickly in her unease and she struggled against the urge of her reflex, instead opting to swallow her saliva a few times in the hope that the moisture would reduce the tickle.

 _Ahem._ Emma's face blushed, she thought for certain that David would mistake her muffling of a cough as a way to start a conversation with the man she didn't know at all. Shifting nervously Emma adjusted Henry's blanket in the hopes that if she remained busy David would dismiss her involuntary cough as just that.

"So Emma, how old are you?" he asked in his attempt to break the silence.

Emma stared at her hands as she rubbed her fingers together, "I just turned 24 Sheriff and Henry is 4 months old." She said looking down at her son.

"So what brings you to Storybrooke then?"

"My fiance passed, Henry's dad. I couldn't stay in Boston there were too many ghosts there for me. Every building, every street, everywhere contained a memory. It's where Neal and I fell in love and it's just..." Emma's voice cracked as she fought away her tears.

David reached over Henry and held Emma's hand. He looked at the young girl, his heart grieving for her loss. He knew what it was like for a city to hold so many memories. If his Mary-Margaret had died he had every intention of leaving Storybrooke and never coming back. It was by some grace of God that she received the kidney transplant she so desperately needed. It wasn't until Emma pulled her hand away that he realized he had been holding it for far too long.

"I understand entirely. Almost lost my Mary-Margaret myself. By the grace of God she was saved."

"What happened that you almost lost her?" Emma asked meekly.

"Polycystic kidney disease. Inherited it from her mom. It's part of the reason we stopped trying for another child after she got diagnosed."

"So she's on dialysis at the hospital now?" Emma asked even though she was certain that was not the case.

"Transplant. The cysts were overwhelming her kidneys so she got a new one. It's not a cure but it'll help."

Emma grew silent. She wanted to ask when she had the transplant, part of her hoped that Mary-Margaret received Neal's kidney because if she was anything like her husband she had to be a good person who deserved it, the other part, however, hoped she didn't receive it because if she had Emma wasn't certain she could stay in Storybrooke longer than a few days. Either way she wanted to find out.

"When was the transplant?"

"This morning. Well, technically yesterday morning as it's 3 in the morning now but it's all the same."

Emma's heart sank. She realized just then that Neal had been gone for a full day now. Her nerves were raw from the ache and she wanted nothing more than to find the solace and serenity she needed in her scar. She placed both of her hands over its location, hoping the comfort would still come.

Emma's nerves returned, still she needed to find out the answer. She lazily rubbed her hand over the scar, giving her strength as she did so, "Do you believe in fate Mr. Nolan?"

"Sure I do," David said as he pulled up in front of the inn, preparing to pick up a couple of the larger bags Emma packed. "Why do you ask?"

"Um, let's get this stuff upstairs, then we can talk," Emma responded. She didn't want to scare Mr. Nolan but her curiosity was getting the better of her. She needed to meet this woman, find out if she was good enough for Neal's kidney even if there was nothing she could do about it. She just wanted to make sure that Neal lived on inside good people, that's if she even had Neal's kidney.

–

"Granny!" David hollered, ringing the bell on the counter impatiently.

"Mr. Nolan, no need to be so loud. It takes me a moment to move around don't-cha know." the elderly lady scolded as she entered through the door that leads to the back room.

Emma couldn't help but notice Granny, she must have been beautiful in her youth. Her long white hair pulled into a sophisticated knot while her coral dress brushed against the floor as she walked and her floral apron dusted with flour. Emma noticed her eyes the most, they reminded her of the porch light at the convent, golden brown, warm and inviting. The wrinkles that decorated her face added to her beauty, every wrinkle and scar telling the story of her life. Emma knew that once she got settled in she wanted to photograph this beautiful lady and tell her story through her lens. Emma reached out and shook Granny's hand.

"Hi, I'm Emma."

Granny beamed with a tenderness that only grandmothers did, her urge to care for those in need of caring for evident in the smile that graced her face. "Nice to meet you, here's a key for the room. We'll square everything up in the mornin'. You go get that little one and yourself some sleep."

"Thank you, ma'am, I'll be down as soon as I wake up."

"You're welcome, child if you want I can make you a sandwich from the kitchen, bring it up to ya."

Emma smiled graciously. How was everyone so nice and caring? She would never have received this kind of treatment in Boston. Most of the time people were too busy rushing around to notice someone in need of helping hand or kind words. _Maybe Neal and I were wrong_ , she thought, maybe city life wasn't the best chance for Henry. He deserved to grow up around a small town of people who would take care of him and love him as much as she did. Perhaps Storybrooke could be that place.

"That would be amazing, thank you," Emma responded, genuinely grateful for the offer of food since she realized she hadn't eaten all day.

"I'll go make that sandwich, tuna on wheat ok dear?"

"Sounds great."

"Mr. Nolan, what are you still doing here? Get those bags upstairs and get back to the hospital. You'll have a sandwich waiting too, hospital food is no good for ya."

"Neither is the food here," David whispered to Emma who started to giggle as they ascended the stairs to her room.

Her door unlocked with ease as she opened the door fiddling for the light switch.

"In the room passed the door to the left."

Emma found the light switch thanks to David's instructions. The sconces on the walls turned on slowly, the bulbs Emma thought must not have been used in some time as they flickered to full illumination, it didn't take long, however, for the very floral room to be bathed in a soft golden hue. Emma wondered where Granny found all these different floral patterns containing roses. Emma shook her head, she didn't really care that the room reminded her of a nursing home, she just needed sleep.

"You can just lay those bags where ever, I'll take care of them."

David smirked, it wasn't the same playful, loving smile Emma had seen already from him, it was more contemplative, it was almost as if he had something on his mind that he didn't want to say. He laid the bags in the corner and sat on the edge of the rose quilted bed.

"Why did you ask me if I believed in fate?" The question from earlier lingered, still troubling him.

"Mr. Nolan. My fiance, Neal, passed away last night. He's the reason I left Boston. Does it sound crazy if I think I might have met you for a reason? Like fate needed me to know something?"

"Not at all, but what would fate have to tell you?"

"That Neal died for a reason. I think your wife might have received his kidney. Neal was an organ donor"

"Well that would certainly be fate stepping in now wouldn't it." David said sweetly, "and you are definitely not crazy. How about I talk to Mary-Margaret and see if maybe when she's stronger she'd like to meet you."

"That would be wonderful but I don't plan on staying here that long."

"We'll see," David said with a smile as he shut the door behind him.

Emma began to breastfeed Henry since she hadn't had time to pump with all the commotion. She would really have to switch him to formula soon if she was going to be living in an inn without access to a refrigerator to store his milk she thought to herself. As she was finishing up she heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," she said in hushed tones, hoping the visitor heard her as she positioned Henry in his makeshift crib for the night.

"Dear I've brought you your sandwich," Granny announced, immediately whispering when she noticed Emma laying Henry down in the playpen. "Oh I am so sorry dear, I pray to the heavens he doesn't wake up on my account."

"You're fine Granny, he is a very sleepy baby, I joked with Neal that he could sleep through a tornado."

"Oh is Neal your husband? Will he be joining you?" Granny asked enthusiastically.

"My fiance and no, he's passed. Recently."

Granny apologized for her lack of tact as she placed the sandwich on the nightstand, excusing herself to go back to the kitchen to make the pies for the restaurant, knowing that if she didn't start now they wouldn't have enough to last through dinner.

Emma sat down in the bed and kicked off her boots, each of them landing on the hardwood with a thud. She took a bite of her sandwich as she glanced at the clock. She couldn't believe that it was now 4 am, she really needed to sleep. Quickly she took off her jeans and her bra, leaving on nothing more than her t-shirt and woolen sweater along with her panties and socks. She gingerly walked across the hardwood as to not wake her sleeping son and turned off the light.

The sandwich Granny made remained on the end table, a single bite missing, as Emma fell into a restless sleep as soon as her head landed on the pillow. Her final waking thoughts remained fixed on Mary-Margaret and the possibility of her living on with Neal's kidney. She wondered if perhaps fate had found her a new home in Storybrooke, Maine.


	6. Chapter Six

**Hey, Everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I promise there will be more Killian soon, in fact, the next two chapters are about him. This story is becoming more of a slow burn but I hope it's worth it. Maybe I'll be nice and post the next chapter sooner rather than later as it is almost completely written and I want to get to Emma and him meeting. Sorry, there is so much backstory but it's needed. Keep the reviews and likes coming! -L**

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The sun spilled into the room, waking Emma up far before she was ready but she knew that she had plenty of things on her to-do list today. First, on her list though was a shower. Henry was still asleep so now would be the perfect time to get herself clean. Leaving the door to the bathroom open Emma started the shower while she brushed her teeth. Emma looked into the mirror, she couldn't help but notice how tired she looked, her eyes still outlined in a soft red rim from crying these past few days. She made a solemn vow that she was done crying, she took comfort in knowing that Neal was cremated, however, she insisted that his remains were not sent to her as the thought of having a human's ashes on display creeped her out immensely.

The hot shower felt good against her body. The tension she had been building up for two days suddenly released, leaving her feeling completely melted. She was sure if she didn't get out of the shower soon she would become a runny mess of flesh at the bottom of the tub. She giggled at the thought, feeling much happier than she had as of recently. There was something about this town and these people that made her feel welcomed and loved even if nobody knew her. It was in that moment that Emma Swan decided today she would explore the town.

It was unseasonably warm for December she thought as she stepped outside, she had, of course, put every article of clothing on Henry that he owned in the hopes of preventing him from catching a chill. Her Bug was still at the gas station so she would have to walk today, she cursed to herself for not grabbing Henry's stroller from the house, he felt like he had gained twenty pounds overnight. Emma looked down at her sleepy baby, cooing in her arms and when she looked up as if it appeared by magic she saw it. The pawn store. Surely they would have a stroller she could purchase.

The bell on the door to the pawn store played its song as Emma walked through the door. Her boots clipped against the aged hardwood. This pawn store reminded her of the one where Neal had bought her ring. Dust caught the light from the window and glittered in the air like fairy dust. Emma's attention was captured almost immediately by the glass mobile containing mythical creatures. The unicorn, in particular, was beautifully done, strolling her fingers over the cool glass she examined the piece.

"Hello, dearie. How can I be of assistance to you?" the older man asked appearing from the back room behind the beaded curtain.

Emma jumped, startled by the appearance of the man. His silver hair hung to his shoulders in loose waves and his brow was heavy. Emma couldn't help but think that this man looked like a villain in a fairy tale. He walked around from behind the counter, his gold cane clicking as it hit the oaken floor in time to his stride. As he approached Emma she watched as his golden eyes softened when he noticed the sleeping lad in her arms.

"I came in looking for a stroller but this unicorn had caught my attention before I looked further," she said, finally answering his question.

"Rumple, I told you to rest. You're still healing," Belle announced as she came to stand at her husband's side.

"Belle, my love, I told you I feel fine. I need to work, it's the only thing that makes me feel useful anymore."

Emma studied the man. He looked perfectly healthy apart from the cane. She saw no indication of his poor health that the woman proclaimed he had.

"My love you are very useful. If you intend to be around to see your child born then you will go rest. I'll help the lady here and when I return I will make you some tea," his wife reprimanded.

Rumple kissed Belle's forehead as she rested her hand on the small protuberance that was her baby belly. Belle watched as Rumple returned to the room from which he came, muttering to himself that this woman would be the death of him. Belle giggled, she had keen hearing and her husband was not as sly and he would like to think.

"I'm Belle," the younger woman said, reaching forth her hand to shake Emma's.

Emma carefully switched positions and shook her hand. She couldn't help but notice the age gap between the two, not that she cared much about age. She thought Belle was a beautiful woman. Her French accent was as meek as her features and her dark chocolate hair pulled up into a carefully laid knot, crystal flowers decorated her hair. The hair pins looked antique, which made sense to Emma considering the lady's husband owned an antique store.

Emma smiled, letting go of Belle's quaint hand, "Emma. I came here looking for a stroller," she responded, nodding toward Henry in her arms.

"We have one over here, but it's quite old," Belle nodded toward the corner where the buggy had been placed.

Emma gawked, the pram was quite beautifully made. The chassis was made out of golden bronze and the bars that connected the rubber and wooden wheels to the basket twisted among themselves in an intricate pattern. The basket itself was covered in stunning black leather, white trim adorned the edges, Emma ran her finger across it, the leather was soft and smooth to her touch, the brass filigree that decorated the side was polished to a shine and the cold nipped at her fingers.

Emma sighed, certain the pram would be far too expensive for her. "How much?"

"Two hundred," Belle announced with a smile once she examined the price tag tied to the rail.

"That sounds great. I'll take it," Emma beamed, laying Henry inside the basket of the buggy. She was for certain that the buggy was going to cost much more than that and she was ecstatic at the two hundred dollar price tag.

Belle made her way to the back of the store where the register was located. Emma passed by the glass unicorn she had been admiring earlier, she thought to herself she would be back for that as soon as she figured out what it was she was planning on doing with her life now. She made a mental note of the price.

"You know, I'm sure Rumple would be thrilled if I asked him to watch the store today if you wanted to go on a tour of the city. You looked quite lost when I saw you walking down the street earlier."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea dear," Rumple said, sticking his head out through the curtain.

Belle giggled at her husband, "Speak of the devil and here he is," her smile reaching her ears.

Emma couldn't help but laugh at the happy couple.

"That would be great Belle," Emma said, accepting the offer.

"Great, here is the address to Marian's house, she's a great babysitter, I'm sure she would be happy to watch your son for you. See you at Granny's around noon then?"

With a smile Emma left the pawn shop, the address for Marian's house scribbled on the back of her receipt.

–

The walk to Marian's house was a quite one. Emma indulged herself in the crisp winter air, the chill settling in quickly and without warning, the warm breeze that was this morning now given way to the winter winds once again. She couldn't wait for spring when everything was alive, she missed the song of the birds and the smell of dew on the grass. The stillness of winter left Emma alone with her thoughts, how she loved Henry more than life itself but she needed a break. She needed a moment to properly grieve the loss of her fiance, to collect her thoughts.

"Shit," she murmured to herself, remembering she still had a home in Boston in need of selling. Making a mental note as she approached the sidewalk leading up to the small cottage nestled in the trees that belonged to Marian.

She knocked on the green painted door in three sharp raps. The door opened no sooner than she finished knocking. Emma's breath hitched in her throat at the appearance of the attractive man standing before her. Even in his disheveled state, Emma could see he was handsome indeed. His dark hair hung over his tired blue eyes and his beard was in need of a trim.

"I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address," Emma stuttered, looking down at the address on the paper.

"And for whom do you ring?" The gentlemen asked, his accent not unnoticed by Emma.

"A Miss. Marian."

"You mean my soon to be ex-wife, she's not here anymore. Took off in the middle of the night a fortnight ago I'm afraid," the man said, his eyes thick with sorrow, "I'm Robin and you are?"

"Emma. Emma Swan. Belle sent me here, said Marian was a good babysitter. You see my fiance just passed away a couple nights ago and I'm new in town and I really don't know anyone. I'm sorry," Emma realized she had been rambling. She was usually so calm when meeting new people but there was something about this man that caused her unease.

"Come in, take a seat."

Emma entered the small cottage, her eyes immediately drawn to mounts strewn across the walls next to awards. The walls were polished pine, inlaid with intricate designs. In the corner, she noticed a small toy chest, cars and blocks spilling out onto the floor.

"Do you have a son Robin?" Emma asked, bouncing the pram to sooth her waking son.

"I do Ms. Swan, he's in the hospital as of recently. Thank the gods too."

"May I ask why?"

"Lung transplant. My poor Roland has cystic fibrosis. Poor kid can't even be a real boy. He's been in the hospital about a month, the doctors trying their best to improve his function to no avail. Thank the heavens though two nights ago he received the lung transplant he needed, perhaps now he will be able to run and play with the other children," Robin remarked, hope shone brightly behind his eyes.

"Well I'm glad your son is better, it would be the end of me if anything happened to Henry. I'll be on my way Robin, sorry to have bothered you," Emma said, the familiar pit in her stomach opening further into a chasm. She had the same feeling she did when she spoke to David about Mary-Margaret and she couldn't shake the notion that Neal died to save Roland as well. Her heart both broke and rejoiced at the thought.

"Here, visit Anna and her husband Kristoff. She's never had kids of her own but she is very good with them. She watches Roland all the time for me."

Emma thanked Robin for his help and wished his son well as she left on her way down by the docks where Anna and her husband lived. Robin informed her that if she followed the sidewalk and took a right at the next intersection she'd find the house on the water near the docks.

Emma followed his directions and looked upon the small brick house with the large yard in front of her. She thought that the house was probably purchased in the hopes that many children would play in that yard in the future, Emma couldn't help but wonder why Anna hadn't had kids of her own. None-the-less she knocked her traditional three times using the lion-faced knocker on the door. Emma didn't even get a chance to removed her hand from the knocker before Anna answered the door and was immediately fawning over the sleeping child bundled in his stroller.

–

"He's adorable, what's his name? Mine's Anna and my husband is Kristoff. What's your name?" Anna asked all on one breath which impressed Emma immensely. She had never heard anyone speak so quickly in her whole life.

"I'm Emma, he's Henry. Robin told me that you might be able to babysit him."

"Oh Robin, he's so sweet. I hope that little Roland is feeling better since his surgery. I miss him so, never had kids of my own, actually I can't, hysterectomy about 4 years ago, but I love kids, I really do," Anna sputtered, once again on a single breath.

Emma couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman as she looked down at her dear Henry, still asleep in his pram.

"Don't feel bad for me Ms. Emma. I may not be a mother but have plenty of children in Storybrooke. Roland Hood, Gus Boyd, Amelia and her twin Andrew. They are all my children and I love them as such," Anna said a smile on her face as she lifted the waking child from his buggy, calming his tears instantly. "I do believe he is hungry, bottle in the bag?" She asked motioning toward the diaper bag over Emma's shoulder.

Emma nodded her head, sliding the bag down her arm to hand Anna his bottle.

"Now be on your way, I've got him."

Emma reached into her purse and pulled out some cash. "I've got $50.00 is that enough?"

Anna shook her head, "You don't have to pay me, I do this because I love kids."

"I insist I pay you something, you are doing me a great favor. I just got to town and I don't know anyone yet. Belle is taking me on a tour of the town today, and to be honest I could use a bit of a break," her voice breaking before she was interrupted by the very perky redhead with the white streak in her hair.

"You don't have to tell me now," Anna's smile warmed the room, her blue eyes sparkled like the night sky as she patted Emma's shoulder with one hand and fed Henry with the other. Emma admitted to herself that this woman was talented with children.

Emma slipped the $50.00 into Anna's hand as she kissed Henry's forehead before she left, she assumed Anna wasn't the type of person to argue over payment so she paid her and left just as quickly, hurrying to meet Belle at Granny's Diner.

–

Belle and her friend's didn't even look up as the bell on the door chimed during Emma's entrance. A feeling of unease settled over Emma, she wasn't used to such large groups of girls. Growing up in foster care Emma found it rough to make friends, an unfortunate byproduct of her youth she wished fiercely to remedy now. She wanted nothing more than to have people she could confide in and trust, a feeling that was all new to her since her arrival in Storybrooke. Emma walked cautiously toward where the gaggle of girls sat in their booth, their laughter filling the tiny diner.

"We see how you look at Robin, Regina," Emma heard the dark haired one explain. The fire red streak in her hair that matched her lips held in stark contrast to her coal black hair and porcelain skin.

"Please, his wife just up and left him, his son is in the hospital, have you no integrity?" Regina replied, defending herself against the friends that now teamed up against her.

"It's true though Regina, Ruby is right, you do give Robin those eyes, you don't have to lie to us, we know you have at least thought about him in that way before," Belle's slight french accent cut through Ruby's laughter as Belle batted her eyes mockingly at Regina.

"Of course, I have! Have you seen him? Belle, the man is built like a greek God. He should be immortalized in stone for Christ's sake. Besides, not all of us are literally Gold-diggers and happily married," Regina scolded.

The girls broke out into another fit of laughter. They didn't notice that Emma had approached the table until she said hi. Another pang of nervous rocked Emma's core as she thought back to the wedding she was going to have with Neal. She had left the dress hanging in the downstairs closet, the only one she would be certain Neal wouldn't see it in as he never hung his coat up anyway. She thought about the simple ivory lace sheath dress and her heart hurt. Emma didn't even take note that the girls were all looking at her as she was brought back to the moment as Belle spoke.

"Guys, this is her! Emma, I'd like you to meet my friend's Ruby and Regina," Belle explained, standing up so Emma could sit next to the window.

Emma slid into the booth, shaking both of the girls hands as she did so, Ruby instantly stood up and pulled her into a hug, knocking over her soda in the process.

"Shit, I'm such a klutz. I'll be back," Ruby announced disappearing behind the counter to grab the mop and some towels to clean up the mess.

"Ruby's grandmother owns this place," Belle proclaimed, easing the confusion that had set across Emma's face.

"So Emma, what brings you to Storybrooke?" Regina asked.

Emma looked at the woman, she was dressed professionally, her button-down shirt seemed freshly pressed and her blazer was immaculately tailored. Her dark brown hair cut into sophisticated layers sat curled into loose waves down her back. Her eyes were the color of chocolate in comparison to the pink lipstick she wore. Emma assumed she was probably the mayor or a realtor.

"My fiance, he passed. So I packed up my son and my car and I drove, landed at a gas station on the skirts of town and Mr. Nolan insisted I stay so here I am," Emma confided, noticing how the pain of Neal's death lessened the more she spoke of him.

"Well, we do hope you'll stay awhile," Regina divulged, mimicking the feeling of the rest of the group of friends as they all nodded in agreement.

"I like it here so far, it feels safe," Emma admitted.

Ruby left the table and returned with their food, Emma didn't remember ordering but she wasn't picky. The rest of the lunch passed as Emma found an easy friendship with these women. The conversation never dulled and she seriously wished that Ruby and Regina didn't have to return to work. She was right about Regina too, she was a realtor, and she was more than happy to help Emma sell her home in Boston, she had some contacts in the area she said she would call. Emma was grateful for the help the women had offered as she bid them goodbye and set off on her tour of the city with Belle.

Belle told Emma what all the shoppes were, pointing out her favorite places for dinner and to buy shoes among others. As the girls walked down Main Street Emma was struck in awe of the dainty, two-story grey cobblestone building containing a For Rent sign in the window. Emma approached the building and peered into the window. She noticed how the room was flooded with light from the sun, how the stone fireplace at the far end punctuated the room, the walls bright white and the floors rich golden hardwood. A staircase split the room in two leading to the second-floor loft, Emma assumed the kitchen laid beyond staircase but she couldn't be for certain.

"How long has this place been vacant?" Emma inquired.

Belle thought for a moment before producing her reply, "About a year I believe, used to belong to the dance teacher but she has since moved on."

"Oh, I'm so sorry for your..." Emma grimaced, not meaning to bring up memories.

"OH! She's not dead silly, moved to New York, she wanted to work on Broadway," Belle explained through her giggles.

"I wonder who owns it, it could be the perfect place for Henry and me, plus I could open that photography studio I've missed so terribly. Closed mine in Boston when I got pregnant," Emma confessed to her new friend.

Belle smiled mischievously, "I know who owns it, and I'm sure they would rent it for a good price."

"Who?" Emma asked although she knew the answer.

Before Emma could ask Belle had Mr. Gold on the phone, she was busy convincing him to give her friend a break while she was going through this tough time. Emma got the distinct feeling that Belle got her way when it came to her husband. Emma could see that he loved her fiercely, an observation that made the core of her being hurt as she feared she would never feel that type of love again.

"Six fifty plus utilities, you can sign the contract tomorrow, he'll draft it up tonight," Belle announced, pulling Emma into a tight hug. "I'm thrilled that you're going to stay!"

"Well I didn't plan on it but it appears that Storybrooke has other plans for me," Emma beamed, once she admitted to herself that she had found peace in this small town she felt an overwhelming sense of belonging. She had only been here a day but these people, the kind, generous people she had met had already made her feel so welcomed. She felt like she had found a home.


	7. Chapter Seven

_Disclaimer because I feel like I should: I don't own these characters._

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Killian awoke to the steady sound of the monitors connected to his slight frame beeping in rhythm to his heart. His head pounding like a bongo drum keeping time with the persistent thrum of his monitors, likely from the anesthesia. He glanced nervously around the room through heavy eyelashes, in his groggy state people had become nothing more than blurred shapes and colors twisting and turning like contortionists in his mind. His eyes were still heavy with slumber and despite his desire to do so he was unable to fight the sensation to close his eyes and with that he gave in to his urges and drifted peacefully back to sleep.

The day had begun like any other day in December. Christmas was fast approaching and Killian spent most of the day out and about buying last minute gifts for his family. He stopped by his parents' graves and placed flowers on them, a tradition he had started as a boy of just sixteen while grieving the loss of his parents. He always visited them on December 18th, it was his mother's birthday and a week before Christmas, the day had always just felt right to him.

Killian looked upon the graves. Time did not heal all wounds he thought to himself as tears glistened in his sea blue eyes. His dark hair was disheveled, his frame was gaunt with sickness and his woolen coat did nothing to warm him through the rough winter wind. He thought about how he should be at home, resting as the cold air exacerbated his shortness of breath. Killian knew this visit to his parents would be a short one and cursed his failing heart under his breath.

"Mama, Papa," Killian spoke sweetly ,"I just wanted to let you know that I love you and I miss you. I would stay longer but this weather is hell on me now." Killian straightened the lapel of his coat. "Milah's gone, she couldn't handle a sick fiance anymore, I guess, I don't know, I expect the constant trips to doctor in the middle of the night had finally taken it's toll on her. I don't want you to worry, though, I'm fine, it wouldn't be the first time a woman has loved and left me."

Killian hunched over, his breath catching in his chest as he began to cough. He covered his mouth with his handkerchief, it took longer these days for the coughing fits to pass. Once the fit subsided Killian looked at the piece of cloth in his hand, it was a habit he had become accustomed to, helping him keep an eye on his progressing condition. Killian felt defeated as the handkerchief was splattered with soft pink phlegm.

"Shit."

Killian stood for a moment, staring at the headstones of Siobhan and Brennan Jones, his loving and doting parents who were taken from him much too soon. Wiping his eyes Killian silently said goodbye walking back to the white Jeep that was parked on the street. He cursed his sickness under his breath. If he hadn't fallen ill he would have been with them when they died, he could have saved them. Blame and regret had become his constant bedfellows in the days since. One way or another he had always shouldered the burden rather than finding fault in others.

Killian took his gloves off once he was back inside the Jeep, exasperated he composed his hair in the mirror, he didn't even recognize himself these days, he's eyes were sunken in, the blue sea had been replaced by a gray storm, he knew he looked as tired as he felt. With an audible breath, he called the first person on his speed dial.

"Ello Doc!" Killian greeted the voice on the other end of the line, hoping to hide his defeat with a spiritedness that felt like a scam, "It's me, Killian... Oh, I'm in decent enough spirits, yourself?... That's wonderful to hear, how is the wife? ...That's great news, congratulations! ...Look Doc I'm calling because I'm a bit concerned... The phlegm is getting progressively more pink and the shortness of breath is almost consistent now... Oh no, it's rare when I can take a full breath... Yea Doc, I understand... Sure, let me know if you find out anything... Happy Holidays to you too Doc... Yep, g'night."

Killian tried to take a deep breath but failed in his pursuit, instead, he began wheezing. Once he controlled his breath he started the car. His Aunt Gracie would be waiting for him when he returned home. Part of him wished she would let him live and stop hovering over him. He knew that she worried about him out of love but a man of 24 should be on their own, not living with their aunt and uncle. He couldn't seem to convey to her that he was not made of glass and he would not break regardless of her fears.

Killian walked through the door, inhaling the aroma of tonight's dinner. Everything smelled delicious but he had no desire to eat and hadn't for some time. He walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arm around his aunt's shoulders, leaning down to kiss her head.

"Killy dear are you hungry?" She asked eyes wide with anticipation.

Killian grumbled under his breath, secretly loathing the nickname his aunt had developed for him. He knew exactly what she was thinking, hoping that tonight would be the night that his appetite returned and he would eat something. She worried so greatly for his well-being, concerned by the weight loss and the swelling in his joints. She knew he was in heart failure and it was progressing even if she had never spoken the words aloud.

"No," he responded with a gentle smile, "I'm really quite tired, I think I'm gonna head to bed for the night."

Kissing her forehead again Killian excused himself to went to his room. He took off his clothes and sat on the edge of the bed, hanging his head disappointment. After a moment of reflection, Killian crawled into bed, feeling more exhausted now than he did when he came home. It didn't take long for Killian to close his eyes and drift peacefully to sleep.

–

In the lateness of the night, Killian almost didn't hear his phone ring, the call was short and sweet, informing him that they had a heart for him and all he had to do was get to the naval hospital and they would airlift him to Boston where the heart and transplant team were located.

In his hurry Killian barely bothers to put on actual clothes, opting rather for sweatpants and his navy sweatshirt, both of which hung loosely on his feeble frame. He quickly slid into his slippers and woke his aunt. It was only a matter of minutes before they were in their car and on their way to have the life-saving procedure.

Killian awoke for the second time in the hospital, fully sentient as he reached for the bandage that draped his latest scar. Tears rolled down his cheek as the magnitude of the gift he had just received sunk in. He thanked the gods for their present and promised not to squander the lease on life he had been given, then Killian thanked the donor, whoever they were he owed them everything and promised that he would do nothing but good things with their heart.

The next month was a wave of procedures. He saw Doc more than his saw his own family, the fear of rejection with the new heart was high and in order to reduce the possibility of infection Doc had limited the amount of time they could spend with him. Doc took Killian's heart very seriously. He had been treating him since he was a wee one, doing everything in his power to keep his own heart functioning as well as it could for as long as it could. It wasn't until last year did Doc recommend placing him on the transplant list. For what it was worth Killian felt like he owed his life to Doc, vowing silently upon numerous occasions to thank him someway and somehow for what he had done for him.

It was a joyous day in January when Killian was released from the hospital, his donor heart functioning as it should. Killian stood outside in the January sun, the rays basking him in a cool warmth. For the first time in a year, he wasn't cold. Taking a deep breath Killian rejoiced at the feeling of lungs full of the crisp winter air. He made his way to the bench, waiting on his aunt to arrive, Killian thought to himself that if she didn't arrive however he would just run home, that's how good he felt.

After some time his aunt arrived, remarking at the amount of weight he had gained since being in the hospital, pointing out how his sweatpants and sweatshirt fit him much better and he looked more like the nephew she remembered before the heart failure began.

"Thanks, Aunt Gracie, I appreciate it," he replied, wary of taking compliments he was not sure he deserved, he did nothing but receive the heart, he owed everything to the donor. None the less he really was thankful for everything she had done for him.

"Pot roast for dinner dear?" She asked, flipping the blinker to indicate her intention of turning left.

Killian smiled at the thought of a family dinner again, "Sounds lovely." He was sure his aunt's smile reached her ears as she gleamed knowing her favorite nephew was safe. They continued the drive home in easy silence, simply relishing in the knowledge that everything would be okay.

–

The holidays came and went without mention, Killian felt good, great even. In the back of his mind with each passing holiday, he thought of nothing but the family of the donor, the people whose loved one was not with them at this time but allowed him to be with his. He was eternally grateful for the generosity of others. Killian went as far to donate a chunk of his inheritance to The Children's Heart Foundation, wishing he knew the name of his donor so that he may donate in their memory opting instead to donate in the name of an anonymous organ donor and the date.

It had been his aunt who suggested that Killian should write a letter to the donor's family, knowing that not a passed where he didn't think about them. That night he sat at his new desk, pad and paper in his hand as he composed the words that described his gratitude.

Dear Donor Family

Dear Family of my savior

Hi.

My name is KAJ and I'm a 24-year-old man. On December 18th (my mother's birthday) I was given a new lease on life due to the generosity of others. Your loss saddens me greatly, but I just wanted you to know that your loved one is my hero.

For the past 4 years, I had been planning my own funeral, I decided I didn't want to burden my family anymore, I slowly paid it off and began to purge the trifles and novelties in my life. I figured that it would be one less thing for them to worry about, one less thing for them to get rid of. I was prepared to face death head on, and I was no longer afraid, but living a life like that is no life at all. My illness directly caused my depression, and many nights I lied awake thinking I should end the pain now and give up.

I wanted to say thank you, my family thanks you. It's been 6 months since my heart transplant and I am in great health. My black cloud is gone and I can now truly smile again, your loved one did that for me. They gave me the greatest gift of all...hope.

The heart is performing outstandingly, your gift to me is greater than anything I've ever done in my life, but I'm trying. I've made it my life's goal to use this second chance I've received to its fullest, to make me worthy of your loved one's heart.

You and your family remain in my thoughts each day, I wish nothing but miraculous things for your family as you have bequeathed upon mine.

Eternally Grateful,

KAJ

Killian opted to use his initials rather than his full name, knowing fair well that Killian was an obscure name and if he should ever run into a family member of his savior he didn't want them to figure out it was him. It was better this way he thought. After re-writing the letter without his edits he folded it into a neat little rectangle and placed it in the addressed envelope. He felt better being able to thank them, like the weight he had been carrying with him was removed.

–

Killian sat outside, legs splayed in front of him with his khaki cargo shorts rolled up past his knees. In the summer heat, he had lost his shirt some time ago, choosing instead to sit in the sun, his scar facing the world. Closing his eyes he laid back, feeling the cool grass itch his back and smelling the scent of their fourth of July barbecue that was actually taking place on the second because his Uncle and brother were being deployed on the third. They were to be gone for a year and this was likely the last they would hear from them for some time. Killian smiled, enjoying his love for his family as the sun heated his skin and made him feel alive.

No sooner than the family sat down to dinner Killian's dog, Gambit, began to bark.

"Gambit be quiet," Killian hissed, knowing that his mutt (he's a Golden Retriever – Irish Setter mix and quite adorable if you'd ask Killian himself), probably heard the mailman or kids running down the street. Either way he would have to let Gambit outside or his persistent barking would not cease.

"Sorry guys, I'm gonna put em out," Killian apologized, leaving the table to go to the front door where Gambit sat, tail beating the floor.

Killian peered at the dog, "I'm onto you now pup," he warned petting the dog's head as he opened the door to the fenced in yard. Gambit ran out of the house before he could open the door fully, sprinting along the fence chasing the football that the children threw in the street. Killian knew what the dog was thinking, he wanted to know why no one was throwing it to him. Killian laughed and grabbed the mail before re-entering the house.

He shuffled through the mail as he walked back to the table where everyone sat eating, and then he froze. In his hand was a reply from his donor's family.

He was at a loss for words, suddenly he was no longer hungry, all he wanted was to be alone with his letter. A pang washed over him as he walked away from his family and to the seclusion of his bedroom.

Since his surgery he had started to amass more items, making his room his once again. His old white walls had since been replaced with a lovely shade of green that reminded him of his mother's eyes. On his bed now laid his mother's quilt that he had stored away for far too long and his father's pipe rack sat on his desk next to his lamp. Over his headboard, however, laid his most prized possession, an antique hand drawn diagram of a clipper ship. The paper had yellowed with age and he had paid much more for the restoration than the image was worth, taking extreme care to ensure that it was matted and framed in museum quality.

Killian sat at his desk and turned on the green banker lamp that he had re-wired himself after it's discovery at a garage sale. He opened the envelope with meticulous precision, running his finger slowly under the glue flap, careful not to damage the letter it contained. Once open Killian opened the letter, hand penned in a beautiful manuscript, his eyes welled with emotion. Quickly he brushed the back of his hand against his cheek, clearing away the teardrops that lay there.

Dear Kaj,

I hope this letter finds you well. The heart you received belonged to my late fiance. He was an extraordinary man who loved me with a ferocity unmatched by most in this world. He was also a devoted father, wanting nothing more than for his newborn son to want for nothing. He was a hopeless romantic, surprising me with little gestures and I believe was his favorite hobby.

These past few months without him have been the most trying but we are persevering. Shortly after his death, we moved, mostly because I couldn't stay in that city anymore. But don't fret, in our new home I have made friends, all of whom love his son with the same spirit that he possessed. They say it takes a village to raise a child but I am lucky enough to have a whole town helping me.

You can not possibly understand how much it meant to me to hear those things in your letter. Your spiritedness and zest for life warmed my heart and I am glad that your storm cloud is gone and only sunshine remains. Please don't lose that spirit for life, in many ways you sound like my love and it brings me immense joy to know that his heart lives on in someone such as yourself.

-E

Killian decided to write her a letter in return, tears wetting the paper as he told her of his life now and how he feels human again. Unlike his first letter the second was short and sweet, he wished her and her son well and told her that he would protect her fiance's heart forever.

Over the next four years Killian exchanged letters with the mysterious woman who only signed her name E, but as time carried on the letters became fewer and farther between, he hoped because she had found the comfort she had been seeking so badly. Before long he stopped receiving letters entirely.

–

Killian was roused from his glancing memories of the past four years by the sound of TAPS being played on a set of bagpipes. He lightly squeezed his aunt's hand as she watched them lower her husband and nephew into the dirt, shots fired from the rifles as the gentleman saluted their fallen comrades. He could hardly believe that four years had passed since his life was saved, he only wished he had the opportunity to save them. His heart was heavy with sorrow, his Uncle Davey, and brother Liam were far too young to have perished in such a senseless attack. He silently cursed those responsible for their deaths, for taking two of his last remaining relatives from him far too soon. He pulled his aunt close, placing her head into the crook of his neck. Her tears soaked his suit coat as his own tears rolled softly upon her head.

He remembered receiving the news of the accident, being told that both his Uncle David Jones and brother Liam had perished in a fire aboard their submarine. The electrical fire had broken out and quickly engulfed the room in flames. Liam and David jumped into action, sealing off the room from the other sailors to prevent further spread to the ship while also trying to extinguish the flames. Both of them had been taken by their injuries en-route to the hospital.

A formal investigation showed faulty wiring had sparked, igniting paperwork and causing the fire. No one aboard the ship was reprimanded, however, Killian was livid at the ignorance that took them away from him. Had someone fixed the wiring his loved ones would be there, getting ready to return from duty safe. Killian blamed every sailor on that ship for their deaths, hell he blamed the entire Navy.

Once upon a time he had wanted nothing more than to be a naval officer like his uncle and his brother, now however he wanted nothing more than to be as far away as possible. He felt sick to his stomach at the thought of what would happen to his aunt now that she wouldn't be entitled to the housing she received on the base. Killian would find her a new place to stay as soon as possible, himself, however, needed a new home entirely. He desired to be by the sea but away from the Navy. Killian looked at the map, knowing far too well he would not fair well in the heat of Florida, opting instead to look farther north.

After completing some on-line research it had been decided, Killian Jones would be moving to Storybrooke, Maine. It was a small town on the sea, he could take his shipbuilding and carpentry business with him and start fresh. He decided he would be moving at the beginning of the month, and set forth on his task to procure housing and building for his business.

Connecticut would become nothing more than a bittersweet memory.

* * *

 **A/N : You guys should know that I fought with myself a great deal on whether or not to give Killian Neal's heart. I know it's super cliche but, in the end, my muse spoke to me and told me to go with what feels right and it felt right. You'll find out what happens in the next few chapters. But rejoice EMMA AND KILLIAN ARE BOTH IN STORYBROOKE NOW! So please keep reviewing and critiquing, I love hearing the feedback and I'm thrilled everyone is enjoying the story so far.**


	8. Chapter Eight

**Hey everyone, thanks for bearing with me. Next week I will be updating on either Wednesday or Thursday (stupid taxes) but after that, I'm going to start updating this story on Tuesdays. If you follow my other story The Remembering of Emilia Hart that will be updated on Fridays with the first update coming next week. Thanks for sticking with me this far, hopefully, the story will progress quicker now that Killian and Emma are both in Storybrooke. As always reviews and criticism is always appreciated. -L**

* * *

Emma sat in her patio chair sipping on her hot chocolate. It was unseasonably cool for summer and she felt a shiver travel up her spine, goosebumps covered her arm. She smiled at Henry who was currently chasing fireflies in the back yard.

"Hey kid, It's getting chilly out here and it's way past your bedtime," she said looking at the clocktower over her fence.

Henry pouted, "Come on mom, five more minutes?"

Emma smiled to herself, "How about no more minutes and you go inside and get ready for bed," she scolded.

–

For a boy of four Henry was incredibly intelligent and a little bit manipulative if Emma was being honest. He knew that she melted whenever he gave her his signature puppy dog eyes. This time she told herself she would not cave, she would stick to her guns and make him go to bed. Before Henry could give her the look she interjected, "If you go inside now I'll read to you. Plus you have preschool in the morning and you're staying with your grandparents after school," she reminded.

Henry smiled and ran inside. She beamed watching the love he had for his grandparents spill forth and manifest itself in his rush to bed.

Since moving to Storybrooke lots had changed for Emma. She found out that Mary-Margaret had in fact received Neal's kidney. After that they had become almost inseparable, Emma felt a connection to the woman who was saved by her fiance. They even started a tradition of a long-standing lunch date at the preschool.

During one of their lunches the topic of Emma's parents had been brought up, Emma uncomfortably told Mary-Margaret about how she was found in the woods near a convent outside of Boston and she was raised by the nuns until she was old enough for foster care. She told the sweet woman of the trials and tortures of being in the foster system and she had cried for her. At the end of the conversation Mary-Margaret had asked Emma to do a blood test to see if she might be her mother, Emma's story seeming uncomfortably similar to her. She apprehensively agreed and when the results came back as a match Emma was taken aback.

She had stopped speaking to both of the Nolans for some time, blaming them for her rough childhood. Emma however learned quickly that Mary-Margaret was nothing if not persistent and when Emma agreed to another lunch six months after the reveal she was not expecting what was in store for her. Mary-Margaret showed Emma pictures of David and herself as teenagers, some of them with a very pregnant Mary-Margaret, Emma noted.

Her mother had explained the circumstances to her, they were seventeen and scared. They had every intention of keeping her and running away to marry but on their way out of town Mary-Margaret had given birth and reality struck, she didn't have a clue how to be a mother. Mary-Margaret apologized for making the wrong decision that night, she admitted she shouldn't have left Emma at the convent and she should have placed her up for adoption, she admitted she made the wrong choice in the hope of giving her her best chance.

By the end of the lunch both girls were crying and hugging, Emma finally finding the family and closure she had always wanted and Mary-Margaret getting the chance to right the wrong she had made 25 years prior.

–

Emma walked into Henry's room fully prepared to read him a story, instead finding him curled in a ball fast asleep. Emma tucked her son in and kissed his forehead before turning out the light, she stood in the doorway and watched him sleeping peacefully for quite some time, and once she was certain he wasn't going to wake up she went and grabbed her sweater and returned to the patio, a fresh mug of hot chocolate in her hand.

Emma sat on the bench that David and Robin had built for her on their small back porch. In front of her on a small wooden table sat the mason jar filled with lightening bugs that Henry had caught, each of them glowing and glittering inside their small home.

Emma removed the lid and let them free, unable to keep the beautiful insects locked inside a mason jar prison. She had told Henry that they knew how to open the jar and they escaped each night so he could catch them again tomorrow so he wouldn't be upset when he found the jar empty. She laid the lid down next to the jar and leaned against the back of bench pulling a cigarette out of her pocket.

She lit her cigarette as it rested between her lips. The warm bitter smoke filling her lungs as she felt her anxiety melt away. She didn't smoke much, three or four times a day and never around Henry, she was careful that he never saw her partake in her nasty, self-medicating habit. She held slim tube of tobacco between her fingers, staring at the glowing red end, losing herself in her thoughts while she finished her cigarette and discarded it carefully.

–

Henry knew the rules, he was allowed to run ahead of her on the sidewalk only and he was certainly not allowed to cross the street by himself, so there he stood staring at his mother patiently waiting for her to catch up. Emma slowed down to spite him. "This kid has too much energy," she thought to herself as she watched him frantically wave his arms urging her to run too. Emma smiled and waved at Henry as she continued walking at a leisurely pace, watching as he became more annoyed at her lack of hurry, but she knew that Mary-Margaret would be coming out of the school soon and she would help him cross the street.

Emma took a sip of her hot chocolate out of her plastic blue and orange Storybrooke travel mug, the same one that Ashley had given her four years ago at the gas station when she arrived in town on the worst night of her life. She savored the warm sweetness of the hot chocolate with a bit of spice from her secret ingredient, when she looked up Mary-Margaret was standing opposite Henry in front of the school.

"Can I mom?" Henry hollered, hoping his mother would let him cross the street to see his grandmother.

"Look both ways kid," Emma yelled back as she watched Henry check left and then right. He looked back at his mom for confirmation, while she looked at Mary-Margaret who was nodding, she gave Mary-Margaret the same nod in return.

Mary-Margaret walked into the crosswalk, "Come on Henry, lets get you to class," she announced.

Henry ran to his grandma and threw his arms around her waist. "Hey Henry, I'm glad to see you too," she smiled as Henry fell into stride next to her, his arm still around her waist while she put a hand on his shoulder.

When Emma reached his classroom to say goodbye Henry was already preoccupied with the other children who seemed to be enthralled with the story he was telling them. He was telling them stories of magical places with disappearing cats and mad tea parties and evil queens. The children looked on with suspense as Henry continued his story.

Mary-Margaret approached Emma and she didn't even have to say a word for Emma to know what she was about to ask.

"Yeah, the kid is still hung up on Alice in Wonderland," Emma exhaled, "ever since he found out the history behind that copy it's all he wants me to read to him, I'm at a loss," she admitted.

A few months ago at bedtime Henry was asking about all of the books on the bookshelf, some were new and some were old but all of them held memories to Emma, her copy of Alice in Wonderland contained a treasured memory in particular as it was the book she found when Neal proposed and he found out he was going to be a father. Henry opened the weathered blue bound book and ran his fingers over the pages, the same way that Emma did when she first found it, that's when the letters fell out and scattered across the hardwood floor.

The correspondence she had gotten from the man who received Neal's heart.

She sat on the floor and leaned her back against the painted bookcase as she told Henry about his father. After he had gone to bed for the night she decided to move the letters to a safer place inside the drawer of her bedside table. She wrapped a ribbon around the letters and threaded her engagement ring with the silver ribbon before tying a bow to secure them together, those letters and ring were Neal's heart and she wanted them to be close to her. Every night since then she would read the letters before going to bed, knowing that Neal's heart was protected gave her comfort enough to sleep through the night and eased her anxiety.

Mary-Margaret giggled and placed a comforting hand on Emma's arm before strolling over to her desk. She struggled to open the stuck desk drawer which eventually gave way with an audible crack. "Crud," she moaned looking at Emma through her coal colored bangs which had fallen into her face when she stumbled backward after the drawer opened, "Now I'm going to have to get David in here to fix this," she said crestfallen.

She pulled the larger brown leather-bound book out of the broken drawer and walked over to Henry. Emma watched intensely as the slight woman pulled her son over to a secluded desk in the small classroom.

"What is it grandma?" Emma heard him ask.

Mary-Margaret's brow furrowed, "Henry, we've spoken about this, when you're here you have to call me Ms. Nolan like the rest of the class," she lowered her voice to a whisper and leaned in close, "we don't want the other students to think that you're my favorite student," she scolded softly.

Mary-Margaret smiled at Henry and gave him a wink, "Anyway Henry I have a gift for you," her joy radiating throughout the classroom. The other students had preoccupied themselves with coloring books and a game of duck-duck-goose that was taking place in the corner.

Henry's eyes widened as he looked at the book and ran his fingers across the gold debossed lettering that sprawled across the front, "What does it say?" he inquired.

Mary-Margaret beamed at her grandson and pulled him close, her fingers running across the words as she said them aloud, "Once upon a time," she coached as Henry's fingers followed her's as he repeated what she had said.

"I bought this book many years ago, it was going to be a gift for your mom when she was born but I never got to give it to her because I was young and I needed to give her her best chance. I have always kept this book close as a reminder that there is always hope, I want you to have it now," she grimaced, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes as she recalled the day she abandoned Emma.

Henry hugged his grandmother, "but it's your reminder of hope Ms. Nolan, you should keep it," he offered.

Mary-Margaret couldn't contain her smile as she kissed the mess of brown hair on his head, "I don't need a book to remind me there is hope anymore Henry, I have you and your mom now," she sniffled, looking over her shoulder to Emma standing in the doorway.

Emma looked on intently, her heart filling with love and compassion for the woman who had given her up so many years ago. She knew that giving her up was the hardest thing Mary-Margaret had ever done, but today was the first time she saw her mom's heartbreak while remembering that time in her life. They both had cried on many occasions over the time they had lost to the choice but this moment was the first time Emma saw the pit that had formed in the center of Mary-Margaret's being at the dilemma she had faced 28 years ago.

"Go play," she instructed wiping her eyes with her sleeve. Henry ran to his mother, hugging the book close to his chest.

"Mom, look at what Ms. Nolan gave me," he beamed, holding the book high above his head so Emma could see it.

Emma grinned and knelt down next to him, "What does it say kid?" she asked.

"Once upon a time," he chided.

A snort passed Emma's lips as he chastised her for asking a stupid question the same way he always did when she asked him questions that he knew she knew the answers to.

"Can we read this one tonight mom?" He pleaded.

"Not tonight kid but tomorrow night we can but you have to go to bed _on time_ ," she reprimanded, "no more staying out all night catching fireflies."

Henry looked at his mother dejectedly, "But mom, they got out again last night. I told you to put the lid on tight and you didn't listen," he scolded.

"Kid, I put the lid on tight trust me," she avowed, raising her right hand, "scouts honor. Fireflies are very strong little bugs," she amused.

"Well I have to catch _some_ tomorrow night," he directed, "one day they won't get out and then I won't have to catch them again."

"We'll talk about it," she said kissing his forehead, "Go play so I can talk to your grandma."

Henry skipped to the corner to join the game of duck-duck-goose that was already well underway.

"So I have a photoshoot tonight with a new client, I don't know how late it's going to go, do you think you could keep Henry tonight for me?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes and using Henry's signature puppy dog eyes on Mary-Margaret.

Mary-Margaret sighed, "I suppose that would fine," a smile spreading across her face, she liked to act like babysitting Henry annoyed her but Emma knew she cherished the time she got spend with her grandson.

Emma hugged Mary-Margaret, "Thanks ma, here's some clothes for tomorrow, I'll get him after school," she sang as she waved goodbye to the both of them leaving the small tote next to Mary-Margaret's desk.

–

Emma looked up from her laptop and glanced at the time, "Shit," she muttered jumping from her work to grab her jacket. When she was editing photos she almost always lost track of time, losing herself in the process. She focused intently on making people look like the best version of themselves while maintaining the characteristics that made them unique. She hurried out the door to meet the girls at Granny's, which was luckily just a quick jog down the street.

She entered the small diner, the familiar ding announcing her arrival, as she quickly made her way to where here friends sat ordering their food already.

"Grilled cheese and french fries please," she coughed, catching her breath from running to the restaurant.

"Working again I see," Regina scolded, knowing fair well that Emma worked very hard between being a photographer and a deputy sheriff, standing in only when David needed her to.

"Yeah, Sorry Belle, I promise I'm almost done with Josephine's photos," Emma offered, hoping her friend would understand.

Belle sighed and shook her head, "I've told you not to worry about it, no rush," she chided, "the ones I've already seen are fantastic," she praised, using her foot to bounce Josephine's car seat on the floor.

Ruby smiled slyly at Emma, "So what are you doing this evening?" She asked, knowing the answer but needing a lead in to open the conversation.

"I have a photoshoot with a man named Killian, just moved into town I guess and he needs some business photos for his website and the newspaper," Emma responded nonchalantly.

Before Ruby could say anything Granny yelled for her to come get their food. Ruby hated that she had to work on her breaks, even if it was just delivering the food to her friends. The girls however always paid for Ruby's lunch since she wouldn't take a tip from them.

Ruby slid back into her seat, take a small bite of her burger before picking up where she left off, "Have you met him yet?"

"Nope, he just called last night so I told him I would meet him at his workshop at," Emma paused to look at her watch, "Shit, I gotta run," She threw her money on the table and grabbed her purse yelling over her shoulder as she exited the building, "Love yous bye"

Emma glanced in the window of the diner, as she ran home to grab her camera, to see the table of her friends laughing, she waved bye one more time and sprinted down the sidewalk. She really needed an assistant she thought, today had shown her that. No matter how hard she tried Emma could not be on-time today, it felt like the universe was fighting against her and she didn't know why.

–

Killian paced around his workshop, irked at the audacity of this photographer arriving late. He was in fact paying her for a service and she couldn't be bothered to call him and notify him of her lateness. Growing up with a naval family punctuality was expected, he was always on-time, if not early. "Finally," he said hearing the knock at the door, "She'd better have a good excuse for her lateness."

–

"I can't believe I'm twenty minutes late," Emma chastised herself before knocking on the door to warehouse. She looked down at her feet, planning her apology to the man Killian but when he opened the door she was at a loss for words. Before her stood the most beautifully sculpted man she had ever seen. His muscles rippled under his black tee shirt, his dark jeans leaving not much more to the imagination as his shirt raised a fraction of a inch, exposing the sprinkling of dark hair across the bottom of stomach.

Killian was not prepared for the vision that appeared before him when he opened the door. Every ounce of annoyance that had previously been coursing through his veins had been replaced with want and desire for the golden-haired photographer with eyes as green as the Emerald Isle herself.

Emma looked at him coyly, "Hi, I'm Emma, I'm here for Killian."

"Aye, I'm Killian," he professed, trying to maintain a sense of composure as he extended his hand to her.

Emma took his hand, the roughness of it contrasting the smoothness of hers. Electricity ran throughout her body as he shook her hand, their connection instant. Her heart raced in her chest and settled into a warm pool in the pit of her stomach just above her scar.

Killian felt like every nerve in his body was on fire, his heart beating so loudly he was sure it was going to beat right out of chest. Even though he had just met her she felt familiar, he couldn't stop himself from staring at her eyes.

"So we should probably begin," she stuttered through her nerves and snapping Killian out of his reverie.

"Aye, you're right, love, come," he responded, his voice dripping with want as he led her inside his workshop.

Emma took in the sight of the workshop which was meticulously organized. Tools were laid out with precision across the benches. Emma approached the spine of the boat that Killian was currently working on and ran her fingers over the wood, immediately regretting the decision as she felt the sharp pain in her finger.

"Damn it," she snapped, looking at the splinter in her finger, "Sorry, do you have tweezers?" she asked.

"Let me take look at that for ya, lass," Killian said softly pulling her hand closer to the light, "Ah, it's nothing, no tweezers required, love," he assured pulling the splinter out with ease.

Emma looked down, a blush creeping across her face, "Thanks."

Killian smiled softly, "Should we start?"

"Absolutely," Emma blushed more, "So I was thinking we could take some photos here of you working, you know environmental portraits, and then we could go back to my house."

"You're house," Killian interjected, "I mean you are beautiful lass but isn't it a little soon?" He teased.

Emma blushed harder, "My house is my studio, my son is at his grandparents' tonight so he won't be in the way."

"You have a lad, eh? How old?"

"Four," she beamed.

"Perhaps I'd get the chance to meet him sometime."

"Well it is a small town," Emma reminded.

"It is."

Emma watched intently as Killian worked his hand planer over the ribs of the boat he was currently building. She took photographs of his nimble fingers as they grazed the curves that he was shaping, ensuring that the work was immaculate. Emma secretly wished he would caress her with those hands. She shook the image out of her head before she was tempted to do something with a client she might regret later.

She watched as his hair fell over his deep blue eyes as he carefully continued his work, "Killian," she purred, her desire still thick in her voice.

Killian raised his head and looked at her, she swore she could see the same desire she felt in his stare, his eyes boring into her causing her to melt. She took another picture and giggled.

"Lass?"

Emma smiled, "sorry, you look scared, smile more," she instructed. Killian obliged and returned her smile with a lopsided one of his own. She took another picture, "Perfect," she praised.

Emma went around the shop and took pictures of the woodworking equipment asking Killian when she was unsure of what a tool was called. Emma noticed the way the sunset lit up the window near the door.

"Would you mind if we did just a couple more pictures?" She asked, hoping the answer would be yes.

"Absolutely love, what did you have in mind?" He returned, raising his eyebrow.

Emma handed him his manual hand drill and pulled him to the door. She asked him to cross his arms and hold the drill while leaning against the doorway. She positioned him and stood back, examining the shadows on his face, she wasn't happy with their position.

"Hold on," she said as she approached him, cupping his cheek and chin in her hand as she repositioned his face.

Killian closed his eyes feeling the warmth of her hand against his face and losing himself to her touch. He listened has her breathing changed and it took all of his willpower not to kiss her. He restrained himself and kept good form as his Uncle would call it. When she released his face he opened his eyes and looked out to the sea as he was instructed.

"I've got it," she announced, "it's perfect in camera. Wanna see?" She asked.

"Sure love," He said coming up behind her and looking over her shoulder. He could smell the green apple in her shampoo as he studied the picture. It was a beautiful photograph he thought.

"So we still have some work to do back at the studio," she reminded as her stomach rumbled, "but I'm starving, care to swing by Granny's for a bite?" she asked.

"Sure lass, just let me grab my sweater and you lead the way," he retorted, placing the hand drill back on the bench and grabbing his black cardigan from the hook by the door.

Emma stood near the water's edge staring out into the sea, watching as the sunset glistened across the water elongating the sun. The sky was a fire of beautiful hues of orange and pink as purple clouds decorated the sky.

Killian watched Emma in awe as she looked out onto to sea. His breath caught in his throat as he studied the way the disappearing sunlight got tangled in her hair and set it ablaze, how her green eyes reflected the sea in a way that made his heart skip a beat. This creature could be his demise, and he was now certain that she was a siren leading him to certain death, a death he would be all to happy to accept if it meant being in her presence.

"Stunning, love," Killian added as he approached her from behind.

He had startled her, she hadn't heard him as he neared her, "The sunsets here are part of the reason I stayed," she confided, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm not talking about the sunset lass," he flirted.

Emma blushed at his compliment. "We should be going," she said dismissing his advances as she began walking toward the diner. Killian caught up to her falling into step as they continued on their way.

"What does this Granny's place serve?"

"Oh, just burgers and fries mainly but she makes a mean grilled cheese and amazing pumpkin pie."

Killian grinned, "Was always partial to apple myself. Does she have any healthier options for your dining experience?" he asked skeptically.

"Not really, just your normal greasy spoon stuff."

"Would you think of me as rude if I suggested I cook dinner tonight?" He asked, knowing that he needed to take care of his heart.

"Not at all, but is it rude of me to ask why?" Emma puzzled.

Killian fumbled over his words, not wanting to scare Emma away like he had done with every woman since Milah, not that there had been many, "High cholesterol," he announced.

"Well I don't have much at my place so we'll have to go to the store," she disclosed, "I'm not much of a cook myself."

"We could go to my house, it's not far and I'm sure I have something there I could make," He offered.

"Perfect."

–

Emma smiled as they walked up to the quaint seaside home off the beach. She could hear barking inside the house and stopped in her tracks, "You have a dog?"

"Aye, name's Gambit. He likes to bark a big game but he is rather a big softy. More likely to lick you to death than to bite you to one," he confessed, thinking about how jealous he was about to become of his dog for getting to taste her first. He would happily kiss her to death if she asked him to do so.

Emma's voice caught in her throat, she wished he would lick her to death, she would die happily to have his lips or any of his body parts on her at this moment.

Killian opened the door and ordered Gambit to sit, the dog didn't listen instead he jumped on Emma covering her face in sloppy dog kisses.

"You come here and I'm chopped liver I see," Killian joked as Gambit continued to give Emma his full attention.

Killian ordered the dog outside so he wouldn't pester Emma during her visit. Killian went into the kitchen and turned on the oven before placing his apron around waist.

Emma licked her lips and watched him intently as she jumped to sit on the counter.

"Glass of wine love?" Killian offered.

"Got a beer?" She returned.

"What kind of Irishman would I be if I didn't have beer in my house," Killian joked opening the refrigerator to pull out two bottles of beer. He opened both of them and handed one to Emma. His eyes never left hers as he watched her take a long sip of the amber liquid inside the bottle.

Emma watch attentively as Killian bent over to pull two beers out the icebox, her throat never felt drier and she was thankful for the cool beverage that quenched her thirst. She stared at Killian as she drank from her bottle.

Killian approached the counter where she sat and open the cabinet next to her, removing his cutting board. She felt his body against hers as he reached around her and every nerve in her body exploded, she wanted this man and she wanted him now.

Killian tried to think of anything but Emma as he strained to grab the cutting board above her head. He thought about baseball and his mother and funerals and the sea, but each time his mind raced back to the idea of laying her out across the floor of his kitchen and devouring her for dessert. He desperately wanted to know if she tasted as good as she smelled. His body was erupting with desire for this woman and his thoughts left him breathless. As he pulled the cutting board out of it's home he looked at her, her green eyes smoldered like the sea on fire and he felt his erection straining against his pants.

"Kiss me," she demanded breathlessly.

"Aye, whatever ye want lass," his Irish accent was thicker when he was aroused.

With that he pressed his lips to hers, soft and sweetly. Emma melted in his hands. The was kiss much to short for both of them but neither wanted to rush. Emma hadn't been with someone since and Neal and Killian's relationships were always doomed before they started.

–

They kept dinner civil and avoided contact, the conversation and the drinks flowed freely. Emma was greatly enjoying his company which made it easier to stop herself from taking him across the table. Killian held promise for her and her will held strong, she wanted to know him first, to love him first before taking the next step. She was perfectly content with kissing him if that is what he desired, besides she had to make sure that he wanted a relationship. Maybe he was the type of man who seduced every woman that he met, she thought to herself, he certainly had the looks to succeed if that was his purpose. Emma also had Henry to think about, she didn't want to introduce a new person into his life if they intended to leave. The kid got attached too easily for her to let that happen.

–

Killian kissed Emma's knuckles as she left the house after dinner and as he did he saw their life flash before his eyes. Dreams he had locked away deep inside after Milah left him suddenly bubbled to the surface. He had known her for exactly five hours and he was ready to marry her.

–

Emma's heart raced as he placed a chaste kiss on her hand as she left. She wanted nothing more than to stay but she knew better. He was a client and sleeping with a client was extremely unprofessional, part of her regretted kissing him, the other part regretted stopping. Killian was the first man she had met since Neal that made her feel alive. Their chemistry was undeniable to her and that made her feel vulnerable. She made plans to see him soon, she still had to finish the session with him after all.

–

Emma fluttered her eyelashes, "Goodnight Mr. Jones," she sang in a teasing tone.

He smiled, "Goodnight Ms. Swan."


	9. Chapter Nine

**Hey, Everyone! Sorry, this update is coming later than expected, I had a serious case of writers block in conjunction with a mini vacation gone awry. This chapter is loosely based on the true events that occurred this weekend between me and my two friends. I hope you enjoy. -L**

* * *

Killian waited anxiously outside of the door that lead to the Nolans' loft apartment, the next 13 hours were going to be make or break for his boat building business. Work was more scarce in Maine than it had been in Connecticut and unfortunately his clients usually only needed his services once. He looked at his watch and couldn't help but wonder what was taking Emma and Robin so long, they were only dropping the kids off for the weekend.

Killian looked at his watch and knocked again, "Seriously mates we need to be leaving," he bellowed through the closed door.

Killian heard a voice respond, "Coming."

Killian's breath caught in his throat as Emma opened the door. If she had gotten the memo that this was a 13 hour truck ride to Cleveland to drop off a boat then she had ignored it. Her navy skinny jeans were cuffed into capris and the green blouse she wore matched her emerald eyes. He noticed how the white of her cardigan played in contrast to her slightly tan skin. Her hair had been curled into loose waves, she was a vision.

"Ready?" she asked, snapping him out of his fixed gaze.

"Aye mates, we have a lot of roads to travel today, we should be going," he responded.

"Alright mate let's go," Robin instructed, leading the trio down the stairs.

Emma fell into stride next to Killian, "Love, you look beautiful and I'm not complaining, but you know we are going to be driving for 26 hours non-stop simply to drop off a boat."

Emma blushed, "Sorry, I'm a wedding photographer so my wardrobe is kind of limited to dress up clothes and jeans."

"No worries love, just didn't want you to be uncomfortable on the trip. I'm incredibly grateful you're doing this for me," Killian thanked.

"My pleasure," she smiled.

–

Killian hadn't seen Emma since they shared a kiss in his kitchen and that was nearly four days ago. During that time he saw her face on every blonde-haired woman in Storybrooke and each time he was disappointed when it wasn't her. When he called her to ask for her help he was certain the answer would be no so he was incredibly grateful when she agreed come. He had scheduled the delivery for this weekend months ago, before business dropped off and he decided to take the fireman's exam to earn extra income. He had gone through the academy back in Connecticut but had missed his final exam when Liam and his Uncle Davey had passed on, all he had to do was take the written test again and pass the physical now.

–

"Mate you're delusional, _1999_ was not his best song," Killian argued.

"He's right Robin, it's obviously _Raspberry Beret_ ," Emma added.

"Lass you're both wrong, it's _Purple Rain_ ," Killian chided.

"Let's settle this the right way," Robin interjected, playing _1999_ over the car speakers, "at least we can all agree his death is a great loss."

The group of them instantly stopped their bickering and began to sing along with the stereo. The trip had been uneventful so far and Emma was perfectly content sitting in the back seat of the pickup truck reading her book, she was hoping to finish this chapter before they reached the pier for the delivery. She was starving but she wouldn't admit it to the boys, she'd let them finish their work and then she would bring up the idea of food.

Killian watched Emma as she read her book in the rear-view mirror. He smiled at the way her nose scrunched as she read, the way she covered her mouth to stifle her gasps, even the way she chewed on her finger as she concentrated on what she was reading.

"Good book lass?" he questioned.

"Mmhm," was the only response she provided.

–

Emma must have fallen asleep because she didn't remember delivering the boat or arriving at Simply Yours. As they walked into the restaurant Emma noted the smell of what she presumed to be delicious food emanating from the kitchens.

"Mates you have to try the nacho fries, they will change your world," Killian instructed.

Emma looked puzzled. "You've been here before?"

"When I was a young one my family and I lived here briefly," was all the information Killian provided.

He didn't want to admit to Emma they had moved there shortly after Liam and he had arrived in the states so they could be closer to the Cleveland Clinic while they were still trying to discover the extent of his heart damage. He remembered Cleveland fondly though, despite the unfortunate circumstances for their living there. It was in Cleveland that Killian fell in love with food, and rightfully so.

The group carried on with meaningless conversation throughout their lunch. Killian told them of all the best places to eat in Cleveland and the group decided that they would eat their way through the city before returning home.

–

Emma was stunned as she walked into the West Side Market, fruit and vegetable stands lined both sides of the hallway. Emma looked around, taking in the sights and smells of the market and sampling the fresh produce before her.

Killian placed his hand on the small of her back, "Love, there is even more to see this way."

Emma suppressed a yawn, "is there coffee?" She asked, taking note of the many shoppers holding onto their cups.

"She has a point, I could definitely use a coffee," Robin mirrored her sentiment, yawning as well.

Killian laughed, "Of course there is coffee mates, this way," he replied leading them outside to the building next door.

If Emma thought the produce market was impressive, the rest of the market was extraordinary. The market reminded her to an old train station with its curved brick ceiling and intricate arches. The entire room smelled heavenly, a mixture of coffee, spices, and homemade pastries. Emma immediately spotted the coffee vendor and proceeded to examine the menu.

"What can I get for ya blondie?" the lady behind the counter asked.

"Frozen mocha," Emma ordered, "Oh and can I get a pinch of cinnamon in that?"

"Frozen mocha with cinnamon coming right up for the blonde, what about you Brad Pitt?"

"House blend, black 2 sugars," Robin responded through his scowl.

The barista turned around with two coffees in hand, "That'll be four fifty and two dollars."

Emma and Robin paid for their coffees and looked for Killian who was walking back to where they were, macaroons in hand and mouth. "Lass, you have to try this. Best macaroon I've ever had," he reported, tearing off a piece of his cookie to share with her.

Emma placed the bright green cookie chunk in her mouth and she instantly moaned at the refreshing taste of mint that exploded onto her tongue.

"That good eh?" Killian laughed as Emma raised her hand to silence him as she enjoyed the rest of the bite Killian had given her.

Emma swallowed, instantly missing the delicious cookie once it was gone, "Where did you get those?"

Killian pointed to the stand right behind him, "Best macarons I've ever had."

Emma approached the counter, "One mint chocolate and one salted caramel macaron please."

The vendor took mere seconds to procure the cookies for her and during the time Robin walked up behind her, tickling her as he passed.

Emma lurched in a effort to flee the hand now trying to make her laugh, "Damn it Robin," she scolded, reaching for a napkin to clean the coffee off of her shirt.

Robin laughed, "Sorry Swan, didn't realize you didn't have a lid on your drink."

"They didn't have any that fit this cup," she barked as her nimble fingers worked to remove the chocolatey coffee now staining her blouse.

Emma quickly finished drinking her beverage to avoid any further accidents as they continued to walk through the square looking at the different booths. Emma was in awe of market, there was nothing like this in Storybrooke, she had been to similar market in Boston but that had been more of an outdoor shopping center than a full indoor market.

The group walked throughout the market for hours and Killian was hungry again. He was grateful that Emma had agreed to come, however he wished Robin would have stayed home so he could have a chance to be with Emma alone but he decided that he would make the best of the situation. He and Robin were becoming fast friends and he was happy to be meeting new people.

"So I was thinking, dinner in Little Italy and then gelato before we leave for home," Killian proposed.

Emma's mouth salivated, "That sounds great."

"Fine with me mate," Robin added.

–

Emma didn't know how long they had been driving around searching for a parking spot in the side of town known as Little Italy. She only knew that she was ravenous and this was taking too long.

Emma sighed, "Can we just go somewhere else?"

Killian thought for a moment, "There is an Italian place in Lakewood that I heard good things about, we could go there darling."

"That's fine, let's go there."

Killian should have known better than to try to find a place to eat in Little Italy on a Saturday, it had always been the busiest on the weekends. When he pulled up to Roni's in Lakewood his worry set in. The restaurant was small, the red carpet was dirty and threadbare but the smells that filled the small establishment were wonderful.

"Just three today sir?" The hostess asked Robin.

"Yes, three thank you," he responded taking a seat on the wobbly wooden bench behind him.

"Should be about twenty minutes you guys," the hostess acknowledged.

Emma looked around the restaurant, it was very much a mom and pop shop. The room looked dingy and the entire restaurant only sat about ten tables she estimated. She could see into the kitchen from where she stood, by her guess only three people could fit back there comfortably. Cleveland sports memorabilia hung from the walls and family portraits finished off the décor. There were artificial plants adorning a small trellis that separated the tiny waiting area from the rest of the restaurant. If this was Boston or Storybrooke she would never had set foot in a place like this, let alone stayed for dinner.

Killian took a deep breath as he sat down at the table, "it smells wonderful in here," he acknowledged.

Robin laughed, "agreed."

–

Emma had never felt so full in her entire life. When she order the chicken parmesan she was not expecting the serving that she received. Neither she nor Robin or Killian could finish their meals. The food was more expensive than Emma had expected and she was down to her last thirty dollars, but the amount of food that she received and the quality of the meal more than made up for the price. Each of them packed up their to-go containers and decided to go for gelato.

–

The parking lot outside of Il Dolce was filled, cars lined both sides of the street, "Killian it's fine, we really don't need gelato," Emma suggested, knowing that the boys had to be running as low on money as she was.

"No darling, you have to try this gelato," Killian demanded, "I'd hate myself for leaving here without any."

"Fine," Emma sighed.

Another sweep of the parking lot opened up a parking spot, Killian parked the truck with ease and opened the cab door for Emma.

"After you love," he smiled, offering his hand to her.

Emma placed her hand in his, electricity buzzed through her fingers at his touch. She looked behind her to see where Robin was before placing a chaste kiss to Killian's lips.

"I'm not complaining lass, but what was that for?" Killian questioned, raising his fingers to touch his lips.

Emma grinned, "Felt like it," before walking toward Il Dolce ahead of Killian. She could feel his eyes watching her as she walked away.

–

The gelato store was a cute establishment, the walls were painted bright red and vintage posters written in Italian hung on the walls while a red Vespa scooter sat in an alcove overlooking the booths. The small parlor was filled with people enjoying their frozen treats and the sound of laughter filled the room.

Emma placed her hand on Killian's shoulder, "I see why you wanted to come here," she smiled.

"Medium strawberry," Killian ordered when it was his turn at the counter.

Emma looked at him, "Free samples and you're going to order without trying it first?"

"Love, When I know what I want I go for it," he replied with a wink.

"Can I try the banana?" Emma asked the employee.

"Absolutely," the young man responded dipping the small plastic spoon into the banana gelato, "Here you go."

Emma slid the plastic spoon into her mouth, the flavor instantly exploding onto her tongue as she let out a slight moan, "Yeah, give me a medium of banana please."

Killian raised his eyebrow when he heard her moan, "That good lass?" Ever since their first kiss she was all he thought about and that included thinking about how she would sound when she fell apart in his arms. He wanted badly to ask Emma out on a date but every time he got close fear took over and he stopped himself. Milah had hurt him worse than he realized when she left him and ever since his guard had been raised.

Emma, Killian, and Robin sat at a small table near the window, they each tasted each others' gelato and before long their laughter mixed with the laughter of the other patrons. Killian looked at his phone, he couldn't believe they had spent the whole day eating their way through Cleveland. It had been a delectable experience and spending the day with Emma and Robin had been equally as enjoyable.

Killian raised the remainder of his gelato, "To good food and good company. Thank you for helping me mates, couldn't have done it without you," Killian toasted and the rest followed suit.

Licking the last bit of gelato from his spoon Killian sighed, "We've got a long drive back, perhaps we should get going."

"Sounds good. Lead the way mate," Robin concurred.

Emma stood outside the gelato store, Christmas lights were strung across the street and glittered in the setting sun. "We should take a picture, you know remember this trip," she beamed.

Killian smiled, "That sounds wonderful lass," he retorted wrapping his arm around Emma and pulling her close. They smiled as Robin reached in front of them, holding the cell phone at arms length to take the portrait. The three of them retreated to the car and crawled in.

Killian slammed his hands against the wheel, "Bloody hell. Seriously, Dolly you're gonna do this now?"

Emma peered over his shoulder from the back seat, "Transmission Malfunction? What's going on?"

Killian sighed and dropped his head into his hands, "I don't know, she's never done this before."

"Try driving, maybe it's just acting funny," Robin suggested.

Killian placed the truck in reverse and it backed out of the spot with ease but when he put it in drive it wouldn't leave first gear so he pulled into the nearest parking lot to take a look.

"Glovebox there is the manual, can you see what it says?"

Robin looked through the manual and when his search came up empty he pulled out his phone, "Leroy, Killian's truck is coming up with a transmission malfunction error, any idea what's going on?"

"Killian sounds like the truck is limping, it's not the transmission but it's throwing a code and causing it to shut down the transmission. Get it to an auto store, have them run a diagnostic and disconnect the battery, see if it clears the code," Leroy bellowed over the speaker phone.

The drive to the nearest auto parts store took nearly forty-five minutes since they couldn't drive faster than fifteen miles an hour. The diagnostic showed that the transmission control module failed and disconnecting the battery didn't fix the problem. So there they were, stuck in Cleveland on a Saturday and no one open to fix the car until Monday. After an hour spent calling back and forth between tow companies, none of which could guarantee a truck that would be able to accommodate three additional passengers and none of which they could afford, Killian hung his head.

"I have to be home Monday mates," Killian snapped, his voice filled with frustration at the situation they were now in.

Robin nodded, "Me as well Killian."

"Why don't we get a hotel room for the night? We can rent a one-way U-Haul with a car trailer and tow the car home ourselves," Emma suggested meekly.

Killian turned his head to look at her in the back seat, "Bloody brilliant Swan, this is why I keep you around."

"I thought you kept me around so you had something pretty to look at," Emma mocked.

Killian felt a blush crawl over his face, "Lass."

"There is a hotel just up the road, a couple of miles, according to their website they have some vacancies. We should go there, it's close to a U-Haul as well mates," Robin interrupted.

"Well, Robin how about you be my navigator and lead the way."

–

Emma followed Robin and Killian into the hotel room. It was lit dimly by the streetlights emanating through the open window. Emma went to the light switch and laughed at two googly eyes that had been stuck near the switch.

"Robin, it's us. We are trip cursed. I'm never leaving Storybrooke with you again," Emma teased.

Robin laughed and recounted the time he and Emma had taken a trip to Louisville for a wedding. Emma was the photographer and needed help so Robin graciously offered his services. When they arrived at their hotel there was a single grape on it's stem hanging from a nail outside their hotel room door. If that wasn't odd enough the grape had a nail through it. Emma had called it "redneck mistletoe" or something similar.

Killian heard Emma squeak during her laughter, she did it because she had a habit of laughing so hard she stopped breathing and that was her way of getting air. The sound that she produced reminded Killian of a donkey and he instantly joined in on their laughter after hearing Emma's magical laugh.

Emma tossed her purse on the desk, "So I'm sorry you guys, you're going to see a lot of ass tonight," Emma informed.

Robin was never one to pass up on an opportunity to embarrass Emma. "Wearing a thong tonight Swan?"

Emma punched Robin in the arm, "No actually but I've been sitting for so long that's what they're becoming," she snapped, wiggling in an effort to dislodge her panties from her behind.

Killian laughed harder at Emma's dance.

"Ugh I'm taking a shower," she announced, unbuttoning her jeans and sliding them to the floor.

Robin was already in his boxers and laying in bed checking his e-mail when she had decided to give Killian a show. If he was going to ridicule her she was going to make it painful for him. She pulled her blouse and tank top over her head and folded them before bending over to pick up her jeans.

Killian's mouth was wide open when Emma turned around. Embarrassment flooded his being, of course she was an absolute vixen and she had just caught him staring at her. The orange glow from the streetlights danced on her milky skin as she stood there by the bathroom door, barely out of the shadows. Killian wanted nothing more than to kiss her right then and he thought about how he would give anything to push her onto the desk and have his way with her. Killian told himself that it wouldn't be good form and got into bed next to Robin.

Killian leaned his head back to the pillow and he was not expecting the thud that occurred when his head hit the wall. "Bloody Christ," he exclaimed pulling the very flat pillow out from under his throbbing crown.

Emma laughed. "It's not funny Swan," he chastised, "first Dolly dies and now I've got to sleep on a pancake."

Emma walked over to the other bed and picked up one of her pillows before throwing it at Killian, "I'm taking my shower now."

Killian studied her body, noticing the scar that stretched above her pelvic bone. It was obvious to him that the scar in question was given to her by her son. He made a mental note of asking her out on a date where she could bring Henry soon, he was anxious to meet the boy with the incredible mother.

Emma threw her tank top and underwear back on once she got out of the shower. She could do a lot of things but she could not sleep in jeans. With that, she took her phone off of the nightstand and tried to check her wireless camera.

"Damn it the internet isn't working," she whined while Storybrooke was a safe place she was still leery of leaving her home and studio unattended so she installed wireless cameras she could check on her phone, if only the internet would work. "I'm calling the desk."

When the desk clerk, Ethan, answered all Emma could understand was meet me at the desk, the rest sounded like she was being swarmed by bees living in the phone.

"Ugh, I'll be back. I have to go to the desk."

She quickly threw on jeans and her zip-up fleece that she had brought, grabbed a key card and headed downstairs. The problem only took seconds to fix in person, she had a feeling that Ethan had been lying and he never added wifi to their room which is why the password wasn't working. After she thanked Ethan she stepped outside for a cigarette, feeling the bitter smoke fill her lungs provided her the relief she needed from her anxiety. It had been two days since she had seen Henry and the pit in her stomach was growing being stranded this far away from him.

"Those will kill ya, love," Killian informed.

Emma rolled her eyes, "Really? I didn't know that," before taking another long drag.

"Is there something wrong darling?"

Emma's expression softened when she saw the worry fill his face. His blue eyes looked like the sea in a storm filled with concern for the woman he barely knew. The smile disappeared from his face as he placed his hand around her shoulders, pulling her close to his chest. She counted his heartbeats and focused on her breathing until the unease left her, safely staving off the panic attack that threatened to rip her apart. Killian placed a slight kiss to her forehead, an act which both further comforted and startled Emma. She looked up at him through damp hair, first his eyes, then his lips, until her gaze rested on his eyes as she got lost in the ocean that was them.

Killian's heart both raced and slowed as the blonde-haired woman accepted his comfort. An internal struggle persisted inside him, he wanted badly to kiss her but thought better of it since she was obviously fighting a personal demon at the moment. So he did what he thought was appropriate, he held her and placed a feathery kiss to her forehead, saying everything was fine without saying a word. When she looked up at him with her emerald eyes Killian felt his good form slip away as he placed a hand to her cheek before looking for the permission he desired. She looked at his eyes, then his lips and stopped at his eyes, the manifestation of her inner turmoil subsiding as she lightly licked her lips. Killian kissed her.

Emma dropped her half-smoked cigarette and tangled her fingers in his hair as he held her face in his hands, changing the angle to deepen the kiss. He took two steps forward, pinning Emma against the cold brick of the hotel and himself. His erection pressed against his jeans as Emma slid her tongue across his lips as if asking for entrance into his mouth which he happily granted. She moved her hands to his waist, untucking his shirt as her lithe fingers brushed his chest hair under it.

Killian was breathless from both the kiss and the beauty that stood before him, "Love, not like this," he pleaded.

Emma's lips were kiss swollen, her breath was ragged in her chest, "I'm sorry," she stammered, removing her hands from under his shirt.

Killian took her hands in his, "Lass, don't apologize. I have thought of nothing but kissing you since the moment I met you. But darling, perhaps I should take you and your boy on a proper date first."

Emma smiled, "We'd like that."

Killian kissed her forehead and held the door for her as they made their way back to the hotel room. Emma blushed knowing the front desk receptionist just saw more than he bargained for. Killian knew he would have to take a shower now, perhaps a cold one would suit him well.

–

Killian emerged from the shower a few short moments after he entered, towel wrapped loosely around his hips as he held his boxers in his hand. Emma studied his body, the way dark hair covered his chest, how his muscles flexed under the cool air in the room. Her eyes traveled down his chest and stopped where the towel met his stomach under his belly button. Desired pooled between her legs.

"Could today be any worse?" he sighed.

Emma snapped out of her gaze and laughed, "What happened?"

"I dropped my underwear in the shower with me," Killian responded, agitation filling his voice.

Robin and Emma both howled with laughter. Emma's signature squeak filling the room, "What am I going to do now?" Killian barked.

Through the tears Emma suggested he hang them up over the vent, informing him they should be dry by morning but he would have to sleep naked. Robin's eyes widened, "Not with me mate."

"He can take my bed, I'll sleep on the floor," she responded, removing the pillows and one of the comforters to make a cozy bed for herself at the foot of Killian's.

"Mate you never told us, why is it so important you get home for Monday," Robin asked the question that had been on Emma's mind all night.

Killian sighed heavily, "I have an examination."

Emma sat up quickly with concern, "What kind of exam?"

"Nothing to worry about love, I'm just taking my written and physical tests to become a fireman, well a candidate to become a fireman."

"You want to run into burning buildings and there isn't anything to worry about?" Emma snapped.

"Swan, I've been through all the training and the business isn't doing so great. It's only logical."

"There is nothing logical about it," she howled.

"Emma listen," Killian spoke, his voice small and comforting, "My whole life I wanted nothing more than to be in the Navy like my brother and uncle. When my heart condition started that dream was lost, so I made the decision that if I ever got better, if my heart was repaired," he lied, choosing to not mention his heart transplant, "that I would use the chance I had been given to save lives. That's when I decided to be a fireman."

Emma hung her head in shame, she wasn't mad at him for wanting to save lives, she was worried that she might lose him before she actually had him, "I'm sorry, I was just taken aback," she admitted.

"No need love, now get some sleep we have a long day ahead tomorrow," Killian whispered as he closed his eyes.


End file.
